“He Needs to Play a Vampire!”

Thank you, IMDB Boards, thank you for lifting self today from the Sloughs of Despond!

This afternoon, self, after spending hours and hours writing her magnum opus (and producing only one serviceable page), decided to begin googling Sean Maher.

Last night, on the edge of sleep, while self was prattling on and on to hubby about the book she is currently reading (Paul Fussell’s The Great War and Modern Memory), hubby found a genius way to keep self quiet, and that was to find a science fiction movie, “Serenity,” which just happened last night to be showing on USA.

Self recalls having seen it a couple of years ago, but has only the vaguest memory of the plot.  She never even got to see the short-lived Joss Whedon series on which the movie is based, “Firefly.”

But for some reason, last night (perhaps because self was feeling extremely stressed over putative novel-in-progress), she found herself focusing on one handsome dude named Simon, who plays the older brother of killer/psychopath/babe River.   Self looked up the cast list and found that he was played by a guy named Sean Maher.

So, this afternoon, over to IMDB self goes, where she stumbles upon the most hilarious thread:  “He Needs to Play a Vampire!”

And here are some salient quotes:

  • “It helps that he has dark hair and fair skin.  Vampires have to have fair skin and either dark hair or very light hair; it just looks better that way.  You’re right about the bone structure too.  Strong and masculine, but still refined; perfect for the vampire look.”
  • “It’s got to be that they are these strong, powerful men, but are invariably confused and emotionally damaged.  It invokes a lost little boy image (whom we want to rescue) coupled with the powerful, capable man image (whom we want to bed).  So, we end up wanting to save them by bedding them.  This response doesn’t make sense if you think about it with your brain and no MAN can comprehend it, but it is there nonetheless.  That is why the best vampire authors are women.”
  • “Who do we write to get him an audition for Breaking Dawn?  They will be needing a whole host of hot vampires for that one.”

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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