Self is inching her way towards the end of this rambunctious novel.
Did she really use the word “rambunctious” in connection to this novel?
Indeed she did!
And that is a long way from where she started.
The set-up seemed to be like any other crime caper set-up (and it’s been years since she read Leonard, not actually since Get Shorty): Hot sultry woman sleeps with everyone and gets people to do her bidding. Charming rogue Jack Foley (can’t picture anyone other than George Clooney in the role) gets out of prison and into trouble immediately; but he’s such a charmer with the ladies. Every single woman he meets in the course of this novel makes a pass at him. There’s also a dangerous rooster named Cundo and assorted colorful eccentrics.
MAJOR SPOILERS SELF IS NOT KIDDING
Somewhere around page 100, however, the novel started to really get funny. Everyone is in on some kind of con, but the biggest con of all is the fake psychic, because it turns out:
SHE IS A REAL PSYCHIC!
A man in the audience makes fun of her powers and she predicts, almost to the hour, the exact moment of his death, two months later.
The rich widow who hires the psychic to “cleanse” her house because she thinks she is being haunted by her recently deceased husband turns out to be pulling a con of her own. In addition, the widow turns out to be the only woman in the novel who seems immune to Jack Foley’s charms, even though he’s willing to try her out, in fact spends a whole afternoon lounging with her by her backyard pool.
The psychic is of course sleeping with Jack Foley but she kills her other lover first, because he punched her for sleeping with Jack Foley. Then she ruminates about how she will kill Jack Foley. First, of course, she has to sleep with him one last time because he is such a good lover. In the course of some pillow talk, she asks Foley what he thinks she served her dead paramour as a last meal (Macaroni and cheese! She shot him three times in the chest with a Walter PPK equipped with a silencer. Hey, self’s Dear Departed Dad had the exact same firearm in a drawer next to his bed. Because Bond.)
Cockroaches and rice . . . and it came to him and he said, “Macaroni and cheese.”
BWAH. HA. HA. HAAAAAAA!