Quote of the Day: Hell or High Water

From one of self’s favorite movies of 2016, “Hell or High Water”:

  • “I don’t know how you’re going to survive without someone to outsmart. You need a hobby, quick.”

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Quote of the Day: Vanity Fair Hive

Good morning! We hope that all the tryptophan and Beaujolais provided a momentary respite from the reality that the world’s most vital democracy is now being run by a Twitter troll. But here we are!

*nods in agreement*

LOL!

Stay tuned.

Magic 5: Thanksgiving Edition

dscn0278

Green Apple Books, 9th Avenue (by Golden Gate Park), San Francisco: This is an antique wall phone. I do really really want to call Ishmael!

dscn0245

Charles Parsons’ Model Chinese Pole Junk (circa 500 B.C.) at the San Mateo County Historical Museum, Courthouse Square, Redwood City

dscn0240

Model of a British Ship-of-the-Line, circa 1765 (in the Charles Parsons Exhibit at the San Mateo County Historical Museum

Entrance fee to the San Mateo County Historical Museum: $6.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Magic 2: Animé in Fort Bragg

This week, make some magic. — Jen H., The Daily Post

For two weeks in March, self stayed at an apartment in Fort Bragg, a place with wonderful deep orange walls, shelves of books, and a collection of animé figurines.

The collector was a lawyer. Next door was a carpentry shop. The books on the shelves were mostly about carpentry and wood finishes.

Here’s the apartment. The animé figurines were discovered at garage sales.

Staying in the apartment was MAGIC.

dscn9412

dscn9406

dscn9416

The Godzilla piece was her favorite. Every day she’d wake up and perform the same morning ritual: swinging the javelin. For good luck.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

WIT’S END: A Novel About a Novelist and Her At-Loose-Ends Niece

Self is on pp. 172 – 173 of Karen Joy Fowler’s Wit’s End.

She has been enjoying it, not least because the characters are Democrats (They wear their political affiliations on their sleeve. But of course they do: they live in Santa Cruz, CA).

A character owns a pair of dogs named Stanford and Berkeley. Self almost dropped the book because of that but she’s so glad she didn’t.

Anyhoo, the book makes her all sorts of nostalgic for Santa Cruz, CA. For its wooden roller coaster and its Boardwalk and its blue and pink cotton candy and the Ripley Believe It Or Not hall of funhouse mirrors.

Sample dinner conversation between a famous mystery writer and her niece, Rima:

“I remember once when you were about four years old. We went out to eat and you told the waitress you wanted a petite filet mignon. She just about dropped her pencil.”

“I was always saying something cute after you left. Hardly a day went by.”

“This puts the Democrats in very good shape for 2008.”

“There’s even corn in the toothpaste now. Did I mention that?”

Something wet landed on Rima’s ankle. Stanford was drooling; it brought her back to the moment.

Regarding that petite filet mignon: when self still lived in Manila, Dearest Mum’s youngest brother married a nineteen-year-old. The first time self met the prospective bride was at dinner in San Mig Pub in Greenbelt Park. And the teen-ager ordered — steak tartare. Dearest Mum was so impressed she couldn’t stop talking about it.

Until that moment, self had never laid eyes on a steak tartare. And she’s never had a yen to order it, either. That means self will probably end her days without ever tasting this singular delight, boo.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

CHAOS 3: Can Hardly Wait For It To Be Over

dscn0050

dscn9583

dscn1238

Conversation of the Day: “The Vampire Diaries,” Season 3

“I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything’s making me paranoid.”

“You have a right to be. Klaus is still out there, trying to kill you.”

Elena (Interior monologue): Oh thank God. I thought for a minute there, I was going crazy.

Stay tuned.

Classic: Mike O’Brien, Shouts & Murmurs, The New Yorker

From Shouts & Murmurs, The New Yorker: 7 December 2015

“How to Live an Alternative-Comedy Lifestyle” by Mike O’Brien:

After you stop volunteering at the senior citizens’ home, get the most normal job ever. The more normal, the more hilarious. On most days, stroll in a little late, with your hair parted down the middle, and say, “Sorry I’m late. I was just livin’ on the edge. Are y’all Aerosmith fans?”


Mess with everyone by putting a whole roasted pig with an apple in its mouth in the break-room fridge (Before you do this, become a great cook so you can prepare the pig yourself and carve it for everyone.)


Memorize your co-workers’ favorite conversation topics. Discuss these with them, and let their knowledge genuinely impress you. This may sound difficult, but once you’re in the alternative-comedy groove your questions will flow naturally. If you become invested in your co-workers themselves, and therefore in their answers, they will never figure out that your presence at the office is a gag.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

GHOST SOLDIERS: Almost Done

Her next book after Ghost Soldiers is a biography of Jesse James by T. J. Stiles. Then, she’ll move back into fiction with Kate Walbert’s A Short History of Women. With any luck, she’ll get to Walbert’s book just in time for the elections.

She watched all three debates. This last one was potent: there was one certifiable meltdown. When a man says live, on camera, to an audience of millions, that his opponent is “a nasty woman,” you can forget everything he said earlier about respecting women. He could have said “a nasty person.” But he said: nasty woman. As if her gender made it even more nasty (And you, sir, are a nasty man!)

Someone tweeted that he thought it would be a good idea to re-name all public restrooms to read: BAD HOMBRES and NASTY WOMEN.

All those in favor, say “Aye!”

Anyhoo, Back to Ghost Soldiers. The raid to free the American POWs in Cabanatuan has a very surreal quality. First of all, the POWs do not seem impressed by the American Rangers who’ve just arrived to rescue them, and are reluctant to leave the camp. Quite a few of them have to be actually kicked in the rear end because the Rangers are on a very tight program.

After the camp is completely emptied, the leader of the raid does a last check of each and every barrack. He’s all alone. Satisfied that the Americans haven’t missed a single POW, he fires a flare into the sky, visible for miles, to signal the end of the mission.

But they do leave one man behind. A British POW who’d gone deaf, who was using a latrine, who didn’t come out until everyone — Rangers AND POWs had left. The operation had to have taken at least an hour, so — the man was constipated?

There is also an American Ranger who is shot by one of his own men (by accident), from point-blank range. And this Ranger can’t stop saying, to his last breath, “By my own men. By my own men.” The men around him try to comfort him by assuring him that he was shot by a Japanese, but he refuses to believe it and just keeps repeating, in absolute horror, “By my own men.” Until he dies.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Local 2: Street Art, San Francisco

This week’s Daily Post Photo Challenge is LOCAL.

dscn0064

4th St., San Francisco, This Morning

Hundreds of people passed by this sign, probably. How many noticed the art?

dscn0066

So whimsical! A closer look at the art.

Only in San Francisco. So random. Who was the artist?

This was on 4th and King, across the street from the Safeway.

dscn0065

Self doesn’t know why, this made her think of Antoine de Saint-Exupery: “It is only with the heart that one can see wisely.”

Oh, San Francisco. Crazy city. Crazy people. Art is everywhere.

Stay tuned.

 

« Older entries Newer entries »