That Moment in I CAPTURE THE CASTLE WHEN

The narrator’s father, who has only published one book, but a very famous one, says to his wife, the narrator’s stepmother:

My dear, you’re an ass. — p. 111

London in I Capture the Castle

Some forward progress, at least! Today self managed to see Bad Boys for Life, and liked it quite a bit, except for the action scenes, which were just your run-of-the-mill, generic action scenes. It was really nice seeing Joe Pantoliano again: he still has that trademark Joe Pantoliano way of delivering lines! And Will Smith is still cool.

She has made it to p. 77 of I Capture the Castle, which self is finding very, very beguiling (even though it couldn’t be more different from her last book: The Goblin Emperor):

It was three years since we had been in London. We never knew it well, of course; yesterday was the first time I ever walked through the City. It was fascinating, especially the stationers’ shops — I could look at stationers’ shops forever and ever. Rose says they are the dullest shops in the world, except, perhaps, butchers’ (I don’t see how you can call butchers’ shops dull; they are too full of horror). We kept getting lost and having to ask policemen, who were all rather playful and fatherly. One of them kindly held up the traffic for us, and a taxi-driver made kissing noises at Rose.

I had hoped the lawyers’ office would be old and dark, with a Dickensy old lawyer; but it was just an ordinary office and we only saw a clerk, who was young, with very sleek hair. He asked if we could find our way to Chelsea by ‘bus.

“No,” said Rose, quickly.

He said, “O.K. Take a taxi.”

I said we were a little short of change. Rose flushed scarlet. He gave her a quick look, then said, “Wait a sec.” — and left us.

He came back with four pounds.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

 

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: ‘K’ Anywhere in the Word

What a fun prompt! Thank you much, Cee Neuner!

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“We Men of Science” by Raphael Bob-Waksberg

We Men of Science, from the collection Someone Who Will Love You In all Your Damaged Glory:

She said: Yoni, it’s Carl . . . he’s dead.

and I said: Oh my God, is he okay?

and she said: Yeah, well, he’s dead, so . . .

After:

We went to the funeral and the shiva call. I said some very nice and accurate things.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Short Story of the Day: “We Men of Science” by Raphael Bob-Waksberg

Story # 6 in Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory (which, Holy Cow, self is loving SO. MUCH):

Science will survive with or without our attempts to understand it; science doesn’t care.

Like a callous ex-lover, science won’t miss you, and sure, maybe that’s a little scary, but isn’t it also a little exciting?

Love Blurbs From Grandmothers

Before dashing out to get crispy carnitas from El Taco Grullense on Middlefield Road, self would like to leave dear blog readers with a last image from Raphael Bob-Waksberg’s book:

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Still on Story # 1 because it’s hilarious!

“Let’s just look at the silver eggs,” I say, a sentence that immediately vaults to the top of the Dumbest Things I’ve Ever Said chart, barely edging out “Can I get it extra spicy?” and “I liked the way your hair looked before.”

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

 

This Story, Hitting On All Cylinders

A Most Blessed and Auspicious Occasion, Story # 3 in SWWLYIAYDG: Stories by Raphael Bob-Waksberg

“We should’ve eloped,” I say. “We could have avoided all this stress and spent the money on a honeymoon.” Even as I’m saying it I know that’s a stupid thing to say, because a) what money?

HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HAAAAAAA!!

On Being the Goat-Slaughterer at a Wedding Feast

… my little brother’s studying to be a goat slaughterer at the university, so of course he has a lot of ideas about everything. “You know how much blood that is? You have to do the slaughtering at the end, otherwise you’re going to slip in goat guts while you’re doing the Dance of the Cuckolded Woodland Sprite and the blood will get all over your marriage cloak and the video will end up on one of those wedding fail blogs.”

— from A Most Blessed and Auspicious Occasion (Story # 1 in Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory, by Raphael Bob-Waksberg(

Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory: Stories, p. 4

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Perhaps every can of cashews has a fake snake lurking, but you keep opening them, stupidly, because in your heart of hearts you still believe in cashews. And every time you discover the cruel fiction of the cashew can, you swear to yourself you’ll trust a little less next time, you’ll be a little less open, a little more hard. It’s not worth it, you say. It just isn’t worth it. You’re smarter than all that. From now on, you’re going to be smarter. Well, I’m here to tell you that this time will be different, even though I have absolutely no evidence to support that claim. Open this can and everything will be okay. The salted circus cashews are waiting. They are so savory and delicious.

Story #3 in Ted Chiang’s Stories of Your Life and Others

Self tried twice to finish Story # 2, Understand.

She finally gave up this evening, and moved on to Story # 3, Division By Zero.

  • Mrs. Rivas was the manipulator in the ward; everyone knew that her attempts were merely gestures, but the aides wearily paid attention to her lest she succeed accidentally.

That sentence is soooo funny. She has a feeling Division By Zero isn’t meant to be funny, though.

Stay tued.

 

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