The A.V. Club Explains Why Americans Might Experience SOTU Feelings of Dread

SOTU Tonight, 9 p.m., ABC

You could just do like self and not watch it. Self plans to wend her way north, to Fort Bragg, to watch Maze Runner: Death Cure. Which she’s 100% sure will prove more beneficial to her mental health. Or, you could just read The AV Club article, which begins thus:

  • At this point, we expect to see an official declaration of war on this or that country by the flaxen-haired pox on humanity who’s currently in the White House, so what’s Trump saving for his first State of the Union Address — or, as he’s already referred to it, “The State of MY Union Show”?

To 45’s credit, he has set the bar very low. So low that if he ends up NOT actually making an official declaration of war, Americans will fall all over themselves to praise his decorum and tact.

(Insert laughing-so-hard-I’m-crying emoji here)

Stay tuned.

Oscars 2011: Self Very Anticipatory Already

“Inception” vs “The Social Network”

Most Middle-of-the-Road, Appealing Across All Demographics (Generally) and Therefore Might Win:  “Secretariat”

Hopefully, Best Actress Nominations will include all or some of these:  Annete Bening (for “The Kids Are All Right”), Catherine Keener (“Please Give”), Patricia Clarkson (“Cairo Time”), Diane Lane (“Secretariat”), Jennifer Lawrence (“Winter’s Bone”), Naomi Watts (“Mother and Child”)

And Best Supporting Actress Nominations will include both or at least one of these:  Sissy Spacek (“Get Low”), Carey Mulligan (“Wall Street 2”),

And hopefully Best Supporting Actor Nominations will include one or more of these:  John Malkovich (“Secretariat”), Bill Murray (“Get Low”).  Zach Galifianakis for something.  And Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“Inception”).  And Andrew Garfield (“The Social Network”).  And Jeremy Renner (“The Town”).  And Sam Rockwell (“Conviction”)

Best Harry Potter Ever:  “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1”

Best Picture, Indie version:  “Get Low” vs. “Winter’s Bone”

Most Romantic Movie of the Year:  “Cairo Time”

Most Bitterly Caustic Movie of the Year:  “Due Date”

Most Angry Man Posing as a Funny Man:  Zach Galifianakis

Best Comic Actor of His Generation:  Steve Carell (See “Dinner for Schmucks”!)

Best Naomi Watts movie of the Year:  “Mother and Child”

Most Heartfelt Acting Job:  Hilary Swank in “Conviction”

Best Movie that Self Unfortunatevely Missed Seeing:  the documentary about Joan Rivers, “A Piece of Work”

Movie Self Saw That She Wished She Had Never Seen:  “Skyline”

Self’s Three Most Anticipated Movies:  “Cowboys vs. Aliens”; “True Grit”; and, self cannot tell a lie:  “Narnia:  Voyage of the Dawn Treader.”  “Tron 2” trailers make her yawn, yawn, yawn.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Latest Book Deals (From PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, 24 November 2010)

Latest deal announcements from Publishers Weekly :

Thriller

  • Silver Dagger and Hammett winner Dan Fesperman’s The Double Game, “in which Cold War spy novels and other classic works of espionage become the clues to uncover a possible double agent,” to Knopf

General/Other

  • Spanish novelist Victor de Arbol’s The Samurai’s Grief, “about multiple betrayals, personal and political, pitched as evocative of Le Carre’s Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy . . .  and set alternately in the pro-Nazi Spain of 1941 —  when an aristocrat becomes involved in a plot to kill her Fascist husband, only to be betrayed by her lover —  and during the Fascist coup of 1981, when a young lawyer is accused of plotting the prison escape of the man she successfully prosecuted for attempted murder five years earlier . . . ” to Holt for publication in February 2011
  • Author of the recent novel Await Your Reply and the NBA-shortlisted story collection, Among the Missing, Dan Chaon’s Stay Awake, a new collection of short stories, to Ballantine

Biography

  • Pulitzer prize winner Eileen McNamara’s untitled biography of Eunice Kennedy Shriver, “telling the story of the often-overlooked Kennedy who founded the Special Olympics and left behind one of the family’s most enduring civil rights legacies,” to Simon and Schuster

There were other fascinating deal announcements, such as Julianna Baggott’s PURE trilogy, a YA/adult crossover “dystopian novel about a society of haves who escaped an apocalypse in a futuristic dome-covered city, and have-nots, who survived the nearly destroyed outside world” but, alas, self’ has to continue cleaning son’s room —  sole fruit of self’s loins is arriving Thanksgiving Day (It’s been waaay too long!)

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.

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