Self is suffering from major Giants withdrawal, Boo Hoo Hoo.
Now she has nothing to write about except her current Netflix rental “Clash of the Titans” (which she’s been watching on “Mute” for the last 15 minutes, just so she can invent what she thinks Sam Worthington and Liam Neeson may or may not be saying to one another)
First, self would like to address the matter of hairstyles:
Why does Sam Worthington have a buzz cut? Why is he the only male of this era to have a buzz cut?
Next, the make-up:
Why is Gemma Arterton’s lovely face powdered extremely white (lending her a somewhat “geisha” look) ?
Self knows Liam Neeson plays Zeus, but why is this Zeus so hirsute, why is his beard so unattractively long (which — just the mention of the word beard is enough to drag self back to fond memories of the World Series), and what is the point of having him be constantly blurry, clad in silvery armor, as if the viewer cannot be trusted to believe that he in fact plays Zeus unless one can see solar or lunar rays springing forth in all directions, every time he appears?
Why do we never ever feel sorry for Sam Worthington’s character? Though he is so beset by woe? (After all: He has been put out to sea with his mother in a wooden chest, probably leaky. Babies have no business being put on the high seas in a wooden chest. Neither do women. Once again, self digresses)
Alexa Davalos is the only one who looks good playing what she is supposed to be (Andromeda). Let’s hope for better roles for this under-rated actress.
At one point, self thought she saw Alexander Siddig, the handsome actor who played opposite Patricia Clarkson in “Cairo Time.” Quick scan of IMDB, however, proves her wrong.
There are many fine actors who ruin themselves on the shoals of this movie, however. Aside from Neeson, there are actors such as: Ralph Fiennes. Mads Mikkelsen (playing someone named “Draco.” Please don’t tell self he plays another bad guy. Playing someone with a name like that, however, self has little hope)
Ralph Fiennes has a weird scene in which he and a creature have an oral exchange of vapors. What means this?
Now we are in a verdant Greek forest. Hairy, tunic-clad men are sitting around while an elder plays a flute. The hairstyle sported by these men is long hair in cornrows. Then Sam Worthington appears in their midst, and — OK, it is just ridiculous seeing him in a buzz cut, for no discernible reason. Also, Sam Worthington looks ridiculous in Greek garb. Just ridiculous. And self so loved him in “Terminator: Salvation.”
Sigh. That was then, and this is now.
Now, now, now!
It is late 2010, the economy still sucks, and wondrous Jerry Brown is the new Governor of the state of California (If you had told this to self two years ago, she would have said you were dreaming!)
Self belatedly realizes there is an art to looking good in a Greek (or Roman) tunic. She shouldn’t have made so much fun of Brad Pitt in “Troy.” For one thing, Brad had very nice legs.
Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.