How Self Got to Fort Bragg to Watch “Jupiter Ascending” in the Middle of a Huge Storm

The storm hit in the wee hours. Self knows because she’s been up since 4 a.m. The wind was howling.

Then there were these periodic siren blasts.

What does that mean?

At about 4 p.m., self began having major claustrophobia FEELZ. She felt that if she did not get out of the apartment for some fresh air, she would Read the rest of this entry »

“Elysium” — Yes!

Having just finished reading a piece in the July 2013 Vanity Fair, which makes all sorts of preposterous claims about Channing Tatum and calls Magic Mike “the definitive Channing Tatum film” and “a great movie,” (Dear blog readers:  Magic Mike is vastly entertaining, and it’s smartly Read the rest of this entry »

Chan, You the Man!!!

White House Down superlatives:

  • Chan.  Doing his best Bruce Willis impersonation.  He even strips down to the white tee (which, in true Die Hard fashion, becomes filthy!  Filthy!  Fabulously filthy!)  Note to Any Would-Be Terrorists:  If preparing to assault a high-security facility, the best way to create a diversion is to make sure Chan Read the rest of this entry »

Vanity Fair, July 2013

Chan is the man!  That’s him on the cover of the July 2013 Vanity Fair.

The picture isn’t, however, all that flattering.

First of all, he seems to have eye make-up.  Self knows all Vanity Fair cover subjects have make-up, but was it really necessary to apply that much.

Anyhoo, self first encountered Chan in Stop-Loss, in which he stole every scene.

Then he was in Fighting, another movie she loved him in.

She rented Step Up from Netflix.

She didn’t think he was that suited to The Eagle of the Ninth, but in all fairness he did seem to be taking the role seriously, even though EW did describe him that year as an “animate bologna column.”

And now it is summer again, and he has a new movie out, “White House Down,” in which Jamie Foxx plays THE HOTTEST PRESIDENT OF ALL TIME, and that’s even when he’s wearing glasses.

Chan, Chan, Chan is the man.

Last summer, this time, self was in Hawthornden.  The Sunday Guardian Magazine had a review of Magic Mike.  Hooooly Hotness!  In self’s room overlooking the driveway, self pored over the pictures.  She just couldn’t wait to see the movie when she got back to the States.

And then came the day, in the middle of the week, when self went off to see the movie.  There she was, in the center of a whole row of women (Not bad for a middle-of-the-day, mid-week screening).  The women on either side (not young) were perched on the edges of their seats.  And never leaned back.

Rich Cohen in Vanity Fair:

He grew.  He’d been big and handsome but became bigger and more handsome still, a sheepish kid heartbreakingly unaware of his own power.  He left Tampa to play college football at Glenville State, in West Virginia, but was soon back.  He’d crapped out, blown it, and seemingly positioned himself on the road to a classic American adulthood, another invisible man, a handsome roofer, a sexy drywall guy, whose looks fade with the seasons.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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