Self is re-reading an article that appeared in the September 2014 issue of Sunset Magazine, an article about “The Lost Coast” — “the remote 200-plus-mile stretch (80 miles of which is called the Lost Coast) between the Oregon border and the logging town of Fort Bragg.”
The Lost Coast is where you encounter (culling from the article):
- rain-soaked forest
- mysterious little towns
- rogue marijuana farms
- campgrounds “hidden in the dense forest and brush”
- rocky headlands
- long sandbars
- Sitka spruces
- good local Sangiovese
- local Humboldt Fog cheese
- Redwood National Park
Well, there is still time for self to cross off a few of the things on that list, starting with good, local Sangiovese.
Two days ago, she had to borrow 30 cents from a teen-ager working the concession stand at the Fort Bragg Coast Cinema. Yes, she has sunk so low.
She drove there to see “Focus” starring her Number 1 Male Chest of all time, Will Smith (Margot Robbie is in it, and also has a chest, for those of you who play on the other team). And when she got there, she found out she had just enough for the movie ticket, and $2. And she had left her credit card in her apartment.
And to think she had been anticipating stuffing her face with buttery popcorn, since any Will Smith movie these days is cause for celebration, but the smallest popcorn cost $4.50, and the girl said why not have a candy bar instead? Self could have a giant Kit Kat bar or Maltesers or M&Ms for $2.50.
So self emptied out the entire contents of her coin purse, right there on the counter. And she was only able to come up with 20 cents, even counting pennies. So she was still short 30 cents. And bless that young girl, for she said: “Oh, just choose a candy bar. Never mind the 30 cents.”
Self, You are despicable.
“Are you sure?” Self practically squealed. “I’ll come back tomorrow and pay you back! What’s your name? What time are you working?”
The girl just laughed and waved self off.
Damn! Self is going to go back there right now, newly armed with cash.
AND she’s going to post a glowing review of Coast Cinema, Fort Bragg, on Yelp.
Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.