Dracarys!

Dracarys! Dracarys! So bored with Dracarys but whatever, there’s another episode tomorrow, self’s attitude is somewhat tepid. Meh?

This morning, in front of Paradiso, there was a man (who looked exactly like a hippy, even though this is Cork) holding up a sign that said FREE HUGS. It was ADORABLE. There were people actually enthusiastically hugging each other. And self was so slow grabbing her camera that she got nothing.

Anyhoo, back to Game of Thrones. This is a penultimate episode — YES! Who knew that self is almost regretting how much time she had to spend to: a) sign up for HBO Now; b) un-sign-up for HBO Now when she found out it didn’t work in England; c) sign up for Sky TV; d) find out how VPN works (Honestly, before she left the States, she had no idea what VPN was)

She has not yet managed to finish watching Episode 4. It is really, really hard to watch,  ESPECIALLY the Brienne/Jamie hook-up which generates NO HEAT WHATSOEVER. Also it is hard to watch Joe Dempsie doing probably the worst acting of his life (Who is that he’s pretending to be? That’s not Gendry! Just an HBO construct! He might be off the show now — except for maybe five seconds in the finale. He might be luckier than Arya, though. SHE has to keep up that stone-cold assassin act all the way to the bitter end. And, girl, you’re doing yourself no favors by suddenly assuming the mantle of Savior of All Mankind. Just look at what happened to Emilia Clarke. Being a Messiah really interferes with a performance)

A Forbes writer was saying something about how easy it was for Euron to kill a dragon, all he had to do was aim his “magical giant ballista” at “a measly dragon” and self does agree that it is pretty ludicrous, twice as ludicrous because it’s EURON and all he does is chew up scenery. It would have been better to have CERSEI aim the “magical giant ballista” but the script has her everlastingly stuck on a stone balcony, bringing her A+ sneer game.

Self will watch the opening credits. If it doesn’t have a particular name, YAWN she won’t bother watching.

Stay tuned.

Oh Hey There, Arya’s Left Eyebrow

Season 8, Episode 2: A Sort-of Review

Those nasty nasty showrunners knew from Season 2 that we would end up here. The minute Season 8 Gendry stuck his sword into that vat of whatever-sends-up-steam-like-a-veritable-fog-machine, it was Gendrya, all the way. This scene has happened before, only back then Arya was 11 or 12 and Gendry had never been with a woman. Now, Arya is 17 or 18, and post-Melisandre Gendry has apparently not been traumatized for life because he admitted to Lady Arya that he’s been with three women. THREE! (Self loves the moment when Arya oh-so-casually drops the “Was that the first time you’ve been with a woman” and Gendry’s astonished “What???!!!!” Gendry, and all the viewers who’d seen 12-year-old Arya making heart eyes at Gendry’s abs, were STUNNED! STUNNED! But surely we wouldn’t have wanted another unrequited love — like self’s other favorite ship, Brienne and Jaime! — for our Dear Little Murder Child!)

Looking forward to this Sunday. For these specific reasons:

1. More of Arya’s raised eyebrows. When Arya’s eyebrow goes up, it means she’s ready for business.
2. More of Gendry, in any shape or form, though preferably hot and sweaty in the forge, with exposed clavicles.
3. Crypt turning into a foodfest for White Walkers — what can self say, she really likes The Walking Dead! Since no less than six different characters (Gendry, Jon, Dany, Sam, Gilly and Ser Jorah) were made to state out loud (in Episode 2) that the crypts were “the safest place,” the feeding frenzy will probably be worse than an American high school cafeteria at lunch!
   

Season 8, Episode 2 joins self’s favorite Game of Thrones episodes of all time:

the one where Brienne is about to get eaten by a bear, otherwise known as The Bear and the Maiden Fair

the one where the Kingslayer goes au naturel in a pool with Brienne and then very conveniently faints in Brienne’s arms (Unfortunately this episode marked the high point in their relationship, for Jaime subsequently returned to his sister’s loving arms, and self lost all respect for the character and wished he’d crawl off somewhere and die)

Self knows not why Season 7’s Gendry was so wimpy. In Season 8, he is decidedly NOT wimpy. He’s back at the forge, where he can be observed (by Arya. And the viewers) in the best possible light (steamy, with sparks of metal upon metal: self could go on).

Stay tuned.

 

Five Years and Half a Dozen Gendrya Fan Fiction Later, GoT S8:E2

And I couldn’t even watch it, I was in London.

Thank God for Twitter.

All my Gendrya feelz!

This is a better ship than anything else on the show, and I will maintain that till the day I die, come @ me.

The corniest outcome ever would be Gendry to die and Arya be pregnant with his child, ala Terminator.

But the show is not corny, so don’t even go there.

 

Fan Fiction: Arya the Assassin

All she had was hot vengeance running through her veins.

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Self is pleasantly surprised at how good Arya Assassin fan fiction is.

Most (if not all) of it is rated G and just shows Arya being very ninja-like all over the place.

Revenge stories are the best.

Self would love to be able to write one of her own.

In her exploration of Game of Thrones fan fiction, she’s even stumbled across fan fiction written about Philip II of Spain. Granted, there are only two, but she’s surprised that there are ANY at all.

Are these, self wonders, written by a student who has to write something about Philip II for history class and decides the task will be easier if she can turn Philip II into a character in a fantasy world? If so: points student.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Game of Thrones Season 7 Gendry Theories (Really Just Wishful Thinking)

Self loves the Gendry thread on Twitter. It is the most “fun” thread of all the different GoT character threads. Mostly because of the intensity of the viewers’ frustrations.

Likely the reason the showrunners brought Gendry back is because this and next season will be about battles. Self doesn’t mind seeing how mild-mannered, loyal blacksmith Gendry morphs into this fierce warrior. Any excuse to see Gendry in the series is great. So, battles, huh? She’ll take what she can get. Self will make this prediction: When — not if, when — Gendry finally puts on that bull helmet, the internet will just go wild.

(Oopsies, self just realized that helmet is long gone — wasn’t it lying near poor Lommy when the soldiers killed him, which then worked out great because cunning Arya convinced them they had just killed Gendry? Well, that is such an anti-climactic end for the helmet, seeing as it figured so prominently in a scene between Ned Stark and Gendry, waaaay back in Season 1)

Self has a sinking feeling: because the longer it takes to get Gendry on-screen, the more his significance as a character is reduced. If he comes in during Episode 4 or 5, all he’ll be doing is helping Jon Stark prepare for war. (Which is why scenes like the one with Ed Sheeran and the puppy-ish Lannister soldiers was so excruciating.)

She’s been re-watching Season 3, Gendry’s scenes with Melisandre. Her telling Arya, “We will meet again” and telling Gendry, “You will make kings rise and fall” and “Haven’t you ever wondered where your strength came from?” Season 3 was so very, very promising — for Gendry, for Arya, for Melisandre, for Stannis, for Brienne, for Jaime.

Digression: There were other things about Season 3. Remember the hot tub scene that launched a thousand Brienne/Jaime ships? Remember the fight with the bear? Amazing to think: all of that happened in Season 3. Season 3 was really the last time the show focused so closely on these particular characters, and they were her favorite. After, it all got complicated and angst-y. We watched Danaerys’s (entirely predictable) rise and rise. Gendry disappeared.

Now Gendry’s return might simply be nothing more than a sign that the series has entered the mop-up stage. There’s definitely a bittersweet quality to his return.

She hopes there will eventually be a confrontation between Melisandre and Arya, and that Gendry is right there for it. Melisandre took Gendry and Arya turned into an assassin. The sweet girl Gendry used to know is no more. This is such a heartbreaking development. Each one of Arya’s kills comes at such great cost — to herself. Self keeps being reminded of the quote (she forgets the source): When you pursue the path of vengeance, dig two graves.

In revenge, self hopes Melisandre morphs into that weird crone thing that’s been popping up on Instagram, and self hopes it happens in front of Gendry and Arya’s disbelieving, horrified eyes. The transformation will be so powerful. Those three actors would act the heck out of such a scene: they’re all so great.

Stay tuned.