CLOCKWORK PRINCESS: THE END (SELF’S EYES SWOLLEN TO THE SIZE OF GOLFBALLS)

WAAAAAH!  Self tried to put off reading to the end of Clockwork Princess, but she couldn’t, she just couldn’t.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! CAN’T SAY SELF DIDN’T WARN YOU!

She wanted to begin Clockwork Angel all over again, the scene where Will first stumbles across Tessa, in the house of the Dark Sisters. He looked like an ordinary boy, only beautiful. And he had gear strapped to his chest, and threw knives like nobody’s business. Tessa was scared and, to distract her, he told her about hedgehogs. Hedgehogs! Will Herondale, self absolutely loves you.

She ended up PM-ing with her niece on FB: Karina, see what you’ve done? Self is a MESS! SUCH A MESS! SHE CAN’T EVEN! BECAUSE — WILL HERONDALE!

Calm down, self!

Anyhoo, self has made no secret of the fact that one of her favorite secondary characters was Jessamine. And somewhere in Clockwork Princess, she expires. In Will’s arms. But not before she has a very touching conversation with him, and ends up revealing that she always liked him better than Jem (You said it, girl! Jem is such a — such a — never mind!), and self cried BUCKETS. She does mean BUCKETS.

And just as she was wringing out her last set of clean handkerchiefs because Will was taking the loss of his parabatai so badly (Not to mention, he had sex with his parabatai’s fiancée but he only did it to comfort her because she was so torn up over the loss of Jem; he did ask her about three times if she was sure, and each time she told him that yes, she was sure, and she wouldn’t hold it against him if they did it, and that whole scene was just so — AAARGH!), along comes . . .

the ghost of Jessamine!

Cassandra Clare, thank you thank you thank you for making the reader’s last encounter with Jessamine not a bloody corpse in a white gown on the steps of the London Institute!

Jessamine: I always said you’d be a dreadful suitor, Will, and you are nigh on proving it.

Will:  Truly? You have come back from death like the ghost of Old Marley . . . to nag me about my romantic prospects?

Jessamine: What prospects? You’ve taken Tessa on so many carriage rides, I’d wager she could draw a map of London from memory . . .

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Sentence of the Day: CLOCKWORK PRINCESS, p. 41

During a climactic action sequence involving a giant worm (Think Tremors, the movie), this sentence:

  • The worm’s thin, annulated tail was wrapped around his knees.

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER IF ONLY SELF HAD A SHORTCUT SO SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO KEEP TYPING OUT THE WORD SPOILER

Self tried to picture it: a worm with its tail wrapped around its knees. Would that mean Benedict Lightwood Iteration (i.e. Worm) is sitting on his or its bum, with its tail wrapped around itself? But hold on, how would a worm have knees?

Then, with awful pitching of her belly, self realizes, those are not the Worm’s own knees that its tail is wrapped around. Those are Will Herondale’s knees!

Oh no oh no oh no oh nooooo!  Self can’t, she can’t even!!!!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Beginning Clockwork Princess

Self is knee-deep in current WIP (18th century Filipino priest! Tons of incident! A secret love!) but she still has to find out what happens to Will Herondale.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Clockwork Princess, the third book in The Infernal Devices Trilogy, begins with Tessa in a gold wedding dress.

You know what self likes so much about Infernal Devices author Cassandra Clare? She never lets her two main men, Magnus Bane or Will Herondale, wallow.

So Tess Gray broke Will’s heart in Clockwork Prince. Now, it’s off to the new, which is taking care of Will’s younger sister, Cecily. It is wonderful seeing Will through her eyes!

With Tessa adorned in her wedding finery, there is a sudden arrival from Gabriel Lightfoot, and the following conversation ensues between Gideon (who has moved into the London Institute and secretly pines for Sophie, the ladies’ maid with the scar on her face) and Gabriel:

“Is father hurt?” Gideon went on, coming to a stop before his brother. “Are you?” He put his hand up and took his brother’s face, his hand cupping Gabriel’s chin and turning it toward him. Though Gabriel was taller, the look of a younger sibling was clear in his face — relief that his brother was there, and a flicker of resentment at his peremptory tone.

“Father . . . ” Gabriel began. “Father is a worm.”

At first self was thinking: Benedict Lightwood, worm — well, in the metaphorical sense. Right? Right?

But no. Cassandra Clare does not shrink from making one of her trilogy’s main antagonists turn into an actual worm. It’s just so, so — Kafka-esque!

Woman, you are brilliant. Just, brilliant.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

The Magnetic Magnus Bane (Scenes from CLOCKWORK PRINCE)

Self became curious about The Infernal Devices fan fiction so she spent a little time exploring it today.

It turns out that 90% is about the Warlock Magnus Bane.

In addition, and this was quite surprising to self, the fan fiction for TID is overwhelmingly man/man. And the number of works featuring three-somes (Will/Tessa/Jem) outnumber those featuring Will/Tessa, or what followers of TID refer to as WESSA (Fans of a Jem/Tessa pairing identify as JESSA). Granted, this is probably more information than dear blog readers care to know, but self finds the difference with The Hunger Games fan fiction completely fascinating. In Hunger Games fan fiction, Everlark dominates. Which means: Katniss/Peeta. Which means the relationship is M/F.

Will Herondale IS very pretty, though. Nearly set off a riot at the Vampire Ball in Clockwork Angel, as self has said at least 10x, in 10 different posts! (When is this going to become a movie? She knows The Mortal Instruments series is going to be a television show, but she thinks TID deserves the large-screen treatment. Most definitely)

Anyhoo, Magnus Bane has a more prominent role in Clockwork Prince than he did in Clockwork Angel because Will Herondale keeps showing up at his house. And most of the time, Will is dripping wet (having walked in the rain — naturally) and in some kind of emotional funk over the curse that was laid on him back in Wales when he was 12, which means he can never let any one love him because they will die, which sucks because he’s fallen in love with Tessa who also happens to be falling in love with Jem.

SPOILER ALERT OF COURSE SPOILER ALERT

On p. 145 of Clockwork Prince, Will shows up at Magnus’s, and Will explains the demon curse hanging over his head, and why he’s told no one else, only Magnus, because “a story like that might engender pity, pity could become attachment, and then . . . ”

Magnus raised his eyebrows. “Are you not concerned about me?”

And a shocked Will says, “That you might love me?”

And then you can hear a pin drop but never fear, Magnus does not make a pass at Will Herondale. At least, not right at that moment.

160 pages later (Dear blog readers have no idea how fast self can read when she puts her mind to it), Will is asleep on a couch in Magnus’s sitting room. Never fear, he’s still *untouched* by Magnus, lol. Magnus has fallen asleep in an armchair in front of the fire, and Will is sleeping on the couch. Enter Camille! She who is known as THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND ALLURING VAMPIRE EVER!

“Magnus,” quoth Camille. “Did you miss me?”

And Magnus stammers out something like, “I didn’t know you were coming, Camille!”

And Camille casts a very telling glance at Will asleep on the sofa and says, “Clearly.”

Here’s the rest of that scene:

Gliding behind the sofa, she leaned over the back, looking down into Will’s face. “Will Herondale,” she said. “He is lovely, isn’t he? Is he your newest amusement?”

Instead of answering, Magnus crossed his long legs in front of him. “Where have you been?”

Camille leaned forward farther; if she had had breath, it would have stirred the curling dark hair on Will’s forehead. “Can I kiss him?”

CLOCKWORK PRINCE, p. 318

CLOCKWORK PRINCE, p. 318

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

What? What? What? NOOOOOOOO!

SPOILERS GALORE AS PER USUAL

p. 293 of Clockwork Prince:

Tessa and Will have another stake-out. This time, instead of a Vampire Ball, it’s a Demon’s Ball. Not as interesting, but hey, this is the ball at which beautiful Will Herondale keeps saying Tessa’s name, over and over, because “I love your name. I love the sound of it.” It also helps that she’s wearing a very tight corset because her dress belonged to Jessamine, that incorrigible, shameless, flirt, and a corset makes even the most flat-chested woman look curvaceous.

So they’re finally alone on a balcony, and —

“So there you two are,” comes a voice.

DRAAAAAT! That Warlock Magnus Bane has followed them!

The two whirl away from each other in shame, and Magnus says, “Let me guess. You had the lemonade.”

!!!##@@!!!

The lemonade “had a bit of warlock powder mixed into it,” says Magnus. “The kind that lowers your inhibitions.”

Damn you, Magnus Bane! Damn you to Warlock Hell or wherever!

Stay tuned.

The Plot Twists! Oh, the Plot Twists! CLOCKWORK PRINCE, p. 257

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER ad infinitum

Self still hasn’t quite gotten over her sense of pique at Tessa Gray for engaging in almost-consummated sex with picturesquely dying Jem Carstairs while Will Herondale, who Tessa and Jem have just fetched from an opium den, continues in abject misery because he has to keep concealing his love for Tessa because you know he is cursed by a Demon who was kept in a little box in Wales (The Pyxis?) — the curse being that EVERYONE WHO LOVES WILL HERONDALE WILL DIE. DIE DIE DIE!

Tessa makes up for her going-to-Jem-late-at-night-while-clad-only-in-dressing-gown which leads to of course that because the very next night, author Cassandra Clare comes up with a perfectly good excuse for Tessa to appear in front of Will Herondale also clad in just a dressing gown, but as SEEMS TO BE happening more and more in CLOCKWORK PRINCE (and well might self think: How very DEUS EX MACHINA! To have Tessa constantly prancing around in a dressing gown late at night), there is always a third person present or about-to-be-present when Tessa appears in deshabillé. So Will cannot, you know, act.

Lest you think that CLOCKWORK PRINCE is all about Tessa alternating appearances between Jem and Will while clad only in a dressing gown, self would like you to know that after that crazy make-out session with Jem, self would be VERY VERY VERY upset if Will didn’t get his chance as well.

If only Sophie would get out of the room.

Anyhoo, this chapter is mighty amusing (as opposed to the earlier chapter, the make-out one between Jem and Tessa, which was just — UNSPEAKABLE AND DISGUSTING!).

Sophie, who’s getting a little man action of her own (with Gideon Lightfoot — let me tell ya, these names are WAY WAY WAY better than the names in The Hunger Games), has hit Jessamine over the head with a mirror and knocked her out cold (This is self’s second-favorite hit-someone-over-the-head scene in a Cassandra Clare novel. CLOCKWORK ANGEL had Jessamine knocking out Nate Grey by hitting him on his head with a lamp) and in addition Sophie has taken the added precaution of tying Jessamine’s wrists to a bedpost.

Self is mighty pleased that the person Tessa chooses to consult with about the Jessamine dilemma is Will (It can’t be Jem because of some hoo-ha about Sophie being secretly in love with Jem and being too embarrassed to have Jem find out that she is the type of person who can hit someone over the head with a mirror), and she is also mightly pleased that Will declares they cannot disturb Jem because he is he is — DYING?

No, not exactly. How about CLOSE TO DYING. Blood coming out his mouth when he coughs and all that. (Self thinks: DIE already, Jem, DIE!) Excellent! Now Will has the chance to embark another adventure with just Tessa.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

CLOCKWORK PRINCE: Jaw Drop Time, pp. xxx – xxx

SPOILERS, ALL MANNER OF SPOILERS

At this point in Clockwork Prince, Tessa Gray and Will Herondale are still at the stage of making goo-goo eyes at each other, but Jem Carstairs, the skinnier male of The Infernal Devices love triangle (All right, yeah, self knows. This is a love triangle. So? Paranormal love triangles are THE BEST!), has the temerity to punch Will Herondale in the face (If you had broken Will’s nose, Jem, self would never have forgiven you. Never. Never. EVER), plays wild violin music that is sure to get Tessa Gray’s attention — after she’s already changed into her nightgown and everyone else is in bed; how convenient is that, that Tessa’s room is right across the hall from Jem’s and no one else seems to be awake — and they nearly DO THE DEED? IN HIS BEDROOM? With Will Herondale (presumably) passed out from being punched in the face?

Self kept praying, during the whole of that scene, that something would happen to interrupt. Something like mebbe Will Herondale (Self loves writing his full name, she knows not why) walking in and saying “Uh-oh!”

But Will never puts in an appearance. Oh, where is that poetry and drama-spouting boy when you need him? Instead, it’s off-with-the-nightgown time and —

What?

What?

What?

What is the matter with you, Jem? You and Will are supposed to be parabatai. Able to read each other’s hearts, etc etc. You do not, self repeats NOT:

a) Punch your parabatai in the face, thereby causing him to bleed;

b) Play wild, discordant violin music that lures Tessa Gray to your bedroom in the middle of the night;

c) Sleep with your parabatai‘s love.

Never mind if Will never actually professed his love, and keeps pulling the Heathcliff act on Tessa Gray. Jem should be able to tell that Will is in love with Tessa. Isn’t that the point of being parabatai — that you can read each other’s hearts and minds?

Oh, the horror.

Stay tuned.

Force of Nature 3: Elk Sightings Near Lloyd Hall plus Robert Falcon Scott’s Diary

Self is still in the Canadian Rockies.

The cold isn’t so bad, but it’s the unpredictability, the sheer unpredictability of the weather, that gets to self.

The weather pattern this time of year in the Rockies appears to be thus:

Cold/Wet/Snow/Hot/Chilly/Breezy/Hot/Cold/Wet

All in the same day.

This afternoon, self essay-ed one short walk out, with a group led by geologist Jim Olver, and wouldn’t you know, the day that had been dry as a whistle began to get wet. And wetter. And wetter. The wet building in increments. So it was not a sudden torrent, but a tickle. A reminder. Of the cold that is growing in self’s head.

She said to herself: I’ll be damned if I’m the first person to chicken out because of this rain! I’m staying outside here (despite bare-headed), come hell or high water! Because I am tough! Tough! Tough! I am the woman who endured electricity failure in the month of January in Dharamsala. I had no coat. My teeth were chattering. Do dear blog readers know what chattering teeth sound like? Self was sure she was cracking all her molars.

Today, self was wearing a turtleneck. And a jacket. And jeans. And sturdy sneakers. And knit fingerless gloves. But damn, her hair was getting wet.

This Elk was ambling around in between Lloyd Hall and the Bentley Chamber Music Studio.

This Elk was ambling around in between Lloyd Hall and the Bentley Chamber Music Studio.

And then came ambling along two elk (Is self beginning to sound very Yoda-ish, dear blog readers?), and then someone was asking if self was going for dinner with the Writing Studio group, who were heading downtown, and self wanted to say, seriously? Do you see how wet self’s hair is at this very moment? Need I remind you that my country of origin is the Philippines? Where it is NEVER cold? Even when rainy? And that self’s current abode is listed as CALIFORNIA?

But, anyhoo, ELK SIGHTING! Near LLOYD HALL!

Finally, she gets to post something somewhat related to FORCE OF NATURE, this weeks’s WordPress Photo Challenge!

Just Outside Bentley Chamber Music Studio, Today

Just Outside Bentley Chamber Music Studio, Today

In order to feel less peck-ish, self is reading published excerpts from Robert Falcon Scott’s diary, which he kept all the way till the very end, when he and his party of four other men died in a raging blizzard, just 11 miles from the shelter of base camp. Scott reached the South Pole only to find the Norwegian flag already planted, by Roald Amundsen. Then he and his men had to make the arduous slog back, knowing that they were beaten. Scott’s last conscious act was to make a diary entry. (It suddenly occurs to self that 11 miles is no mere walk in the park. Back in California, self would be hard put to walk 2 miles on a daily basis. And just imagine having to negotiate 11 miles in a blizzard! And weighed down with piles and piles of clothing! Must have felt like swimming through a sea of muck!)

The Canadian Rockies, seen from the 6th floor of Lloyd Hall, the residence of all the Writing Studio participants, including self

The Canadian Rockies, seen from the 6th floor of Lloyd Hall, the residence of all the Writing Studio participants, including self

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Forces of Nature: WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge

This week’s WordPress Photo Challenge is FORCES OF NATURE.

Woot Hoot! Self has many pictures that fit the theme this week. Because it just so happens she is in Banff, Alberta, participating in the Banff Literary Centre’s annual Writing Studio (with 23 other writers)

Last Wednesday, she signed up for a tour called “Banff Hot Spots” (only 5 Canadian) which turned out to be a very ironic title for the tour, as it snowed. And snowed. And snowed.

But, as the tour van was barreling along the Trans-Canada Highway, what should we encounter but a herd of elk, meandering by the side of the road. Serendipity, much?

A Surprise Encounter

A Surprise Encounter

The tour stopped at one of the Vermillion Lakes:

Vermillion Lake

Vermillion Lake

Overcast, snowing, freezing, but hey, at least self got these fabulous shots!

Vermillion Lake, From Another Angle

Vermillion Lake, From Another Angle

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

Elk, Part 2

Yesterday, self and four others took a tour of “Banff Hot Spots” (Ironic title, considering the fact that it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. And kept snowing)

But self saw elk! And more elk!

Herds of elk! Baby elk! Solitary elks!

Here are more elk pictures:

DSCN9603

Amazing! We saw a herd of elk walking majestically by the side of the road, and a solitary female in a field who was soon joined by three baby elk, and a group of three young males on a hillside.

DSCN9601

It snowed all afternoon and all night.

DSCN9600

Aren’t the creatures magnificent?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

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