Beautiful Dreamer, TTTDOJ

But I’m running out of time. Your face is my hourglass: each time I return to Locke House it’s as if I’ve been gone for decades rather than weeks. Entire lifetimes have bloomed and faded for you, months of secret trials and triumphs that have suddenly molded your features into someone I hardly recognize. You’ve grown tall and silent, with the mistrustful stillness of a doe just before she bolts.

Sometimes — when I’m either too tired or too drunk to steer my thoughts away from dangerous places — I wonder what your mother would think if she could see you. Your features so plainly and painfully her own, but your spirit tightly laced beneath good manners and the invisible burden of unbelonging. She had dreamed for you a different life, one profoundly and perilously free, unbounded, every door standing open before you.

— Yul Scaller, father of January, The Ten Thousand Doors of January

The pain, dear blog readers! The pain of a lost love! And the hatred for Mr. Locke, he of the all-too-convenient lock and key! Who sends Yul’s daughter to the — sanatorium!

What has Alix E. Harrow done to self. What has Ms. Harrow done, done, done to self.

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