A. V. Club Review: PASSENGERS

As a committed Everlark fan fiction writer, self still hasn’t gotten over J-Law.

But the fandom is up in arms over Passengers.

Do dear blog readers know that there are a number of Hollywood screenplay writers who write Everlark? For fun?

Neither did self, until the rumbling about Passengers started.

First, there was a tremor over the photoshopping of Lawrence’s eyes in the promo posters.

Next, the trailers.

And finally, the screenplay. Apparently, Lawrence’s status as a feminist is strained to the utmost in this movie, where she is presented as a kind of trophy for Chris Pratt. There are, of course, worse things in life than becoming the trophy/girlfriend of Chris Pratt, but Lawrence surely deserved more than just to play that role.

This is a kick-ass woman, Hollywood! Self things she’s moved past the girlfriend roles.

From A. V. Club:

A spaceship malfunction wakes up Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) 90 years early “and he’s now doomed to live out the rest of his life surrounded by sushi bars and infinity pools, but not a single human companion.”

Unbeknownst to all (or maybe not unbeknownst to all!), Jim has developed an obsession with one of the sleeping passengers, of course a gorgeous blonde (played by Jennifer Lawrence) named Aurora. But, just so you know J-Law’s character is no bimbo, the script has her playing a journalist.

Preston “deliberately wakes her up early so he has someone to talk to.” (I’ll bet!) He then “proceeds to present an innocent face to his new friend/captive and to charm/manipulate her into” a “sexual relationship.”

As Yoda himself might say at this point: The ICK factor is high in this one.

Passengers becomes —  Barbarella???!!

Jane Fonda played Barbarella and she was good in the role.

Lawrence cannot play this role because, no matter how high the hot-ness factor, that gaze of hers is just too knowing, too capable of pinning a man to the floor.

So, who could play this role as space girlfriend? Someone curvy, since this is a male fantasy movie. Scarjo, perhaps? Margot Robbie? Or that woman in the TV series Quantico?

But there is a problem here because Lawrence for the life of her cannot play anything but shrewd. That’s just who she is. And whatever role she plays, big or small, the hugeness of the Lawrence bullshit-detector cannot be hidden, much less effaced. So it is really, really asking a lot of the audience to swallow the fact that one of the shrewdest actresses in movies today is playing someone who cannot read through a man’s intentions. Especially since the screenplay has her playing a journalist. And surely it doesn’t take a journalist, or even a whole village of journalists, to deduce that Jim Preston has an ulterior motive in waking Aurora up early? Because why wake up a journalist in outer space? Wouldn’t it make more sense to wake up an engineer? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have J-Law play an android? Space ship + woken up early + by Chris Pratt = yes, do go there.

Who wrote this?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

13 Comments

  1. December 21, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    I loved her in American Hustle, especially her issues with the microwave. Even as a trophy girl in that role she was larger than life.

    • December 21, 2016 at 7:11 pm

      It is so very interesting now that I’m in the Everlark fan fiction universe, that I pick up a lot of stuff on J-Law. She was great in American Hustle, loved her line “I hate change. Sometimes I think I’ll die before I change.” She was brassy but vulnerable. I do not know what happened in Passengers, but the problem also might be Chris Pratt’s new persona as hot bod. Hollywood cast two hot actors and expected they’d carry the day (even with a weak screenplay)

      • December 22, 2016 at 12:37 am

        That’s a mistake Hollywood makes over and over again. We need dialogue! A plot would be nice! Give me someone to root for, not just admire from afar.

      • December 22, 2016 at 12:58 am

        I think, the way Jennifer started, doing small indie movies, showed how smart she was. Remember, she moved to New York City, NOT LA. Remember Winter’s Bone? It’s hard for her now, I imagine. Everyone must be throwing scripts at her. Still, I think that she’s still the same shrewd young woman and she’s getting plenty of advice from famous directors (maybe too much, ATM) What is your best current movie? And I’ll go watch it. Rogue One?

      • December 22, 2016 at 2:28 am

        My favorite series right now is Vikings. Strong and weak characters of all genders. I am seeing Rogue One tomorrow. You know what I really enjoyed, despite negative criticism? The new Ghostbusters! But I also really loved Guardians of the Galaxy, so maybe that’s my type of humor.

      • December 22, 2016 at 2:50 am

        I LOVED Ghostbusters! It was excellent (better than the original, IMHO). Oh, I’m excited to hear how you liked Rogue One. AND I loved Guardians of the Galaxy. Chris Pratt really aced that role. His first action role, yeah? The last movie I’ve seen was Arrival, and I loved Jeremy Renner/Amy Adams in it. (This is so much fun, exchanging comments with you. I am a movie buff, as you can tell!)

      • December 22, 2016 at 4:00 am

        Arrival is on my list! Now I really can’t wait to see it. I also want to see Passengers. I will let you know when I do.

      • December 22, 2016 at 7:35 am

        I read reviews of Passengers this evening! It really sounds as if the movie became focused on Pratt as hot, rather than Pratt as actor, and then J-Law got figured in, but bless her heart, she doesn’t seem fully committed, so that’s why you have the reviews pointing out that basically Pratt is the equivalent of a creepy stalker, lol

      • December 22, 2016 at 2:52 am

        I’m watching Vikings as we speak! Ivar’s character fascinates me. I read a nonfiction book about the Vikings, and it had a section on Ivar the Boneless, who was born with a degenerative bone disease that left him increasingly unable to move. But his mind was excellent. He commanded battles while carried on a shield by his soldiers. And the sight was so terrifying for the opposing army (for some reason)

      • December 22, 2016 at 3:58 am

        I am reading the Last Kingdom, which is a different perspective on these Vikings. In this series, Ivar is huge and whole and a ferocious warrior.

      • December 22, 2016 at 7:32 am

        I watch the History channel backgrounder on the Vikings — did you see they found a grave in 873 that they think was Ivar the Boneless’s? I think the book I read was something like Eve’s Daughter, or close to that, and was about DNA mapping in the UK. Lots of Viking DNA along the outer coasts, the book found. Which I guess is only to be expected.

      • December 22, 2016 at 4:57 pm

        What a wonderful holiday gift, I am going to find ALL THE THINGS to read about! I always love your angle on people/history/fiction/life.

      • December 22, 2016 at 5:48 pm

        Sunny, I can’t WAIT to learn what you think of Rogue One. I have been sort of on the fence about it, so I’ll decide after hearing what you think! And about things to read, books are the best things to give/receive during the holidays! Hope you have a great one.


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