A few years ago, self received a puzzling phone call from United.
“Ma’am,” the caller said when self answered the phone. “Are you xxxxxxx?”
“Yes,” self said.
“We have your Bible. It got wedged into a crevice at the baggage carousel. Can we have your address so we can mail it to you?”
Self said, “I don’t own a Bible.”
The United guy said, “But it has your name on it.”
Self was having a moment.
“But that can’t be mine.”
Even if self owned a Bible (She does recall having one), she wouldn’t bring it with her on a trip.
But the guy kept insisting it was self’s, because it had her name on it. She actually came very close to believing that she did own a Bible, that she wrote her name on the front of it, that she lost it at SFO because it got wedged in a baggage carousel . . . was she losing her mind?
She doesn’t recall receiving any sort of Bible via snail mail. If it arrived, then where is it? Because after a conversation like that, you can bet she was looking out for it.
Just a few minutes ago, she remembered this call. And an explanation finally finally occurs to her: There must have been another woman with her exact same name on a United flight that day.
Yes, that’s it. That’s the most likely explanation. The Doppelganger explanation.
Dear blog readers: What. Are. The. Odds???
So now she can say she had her very own Haruki Murakami/magical realism moment.
The other she (the doppelganger) carried the Bible around with her. Got off at SFO several years ago. Lost this Bible at the baggage carousel. So it had to have been out of her bag.
Can you imagine someone holding a Bible in her hand at a baggage carousel? First of all, don’t you need two hands to pull off your suitcase? But maybe this woman was traveling with others, so she didn’t have to worry? If that were the case, and she didn’t have to pull her luggage off the carousel, why was she just standing around with the — (Self, can you quit with the de-construction? Because this post is getting very loooong!)
It’s crisis time for the Democrats, Hillary was just diagnosed with bacterial pneumonia, which is actually much more serious than viral pneumonia, and here you are worrying about strangers losing their Bibles?
And isn’t Trump such a lucky son-of-a-gun? His whole election campaign was a high-stakes gamble. He just went for it. And now the only thing standing between him and the presidency is Hillary. And this is such a crazy scenario that self can’t even.
Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.