Can’t Miss: “Joy”/ “In the Heart of the Sea”

“Joy” because J-Law. The gal works so hard. She deserves everything. Everything. That is all.

“In the Heart of the Sea” is a little more complex in its appeal.

She just learned, from watching a clip in the A. V. Club (which she used to read regularly, then forgot about when her life turned chaotic, but discovered again here in New York), that Ben Whishaw is in it.

Ben Whishaw! Are you kidding?

From the first time she laid eyes on him as Q in the Daniel Craig Casino Royale, she was like: Who is that mop-headed beast?

And she continues to delight in his casting (She knows he is not on her team but who cares), up to and including the last Daniel Craig Bond movie, “Spectre.”

Sorry self hasn’t been able to post a review of “Spectre,” but trust her, Q is outstanding. Especially as a foil to Craig. His lap-top is so adorable, it’s so “Q”, all covered with stickers. And he uses it to oh-so-casually hack into the Super-Villain’s network, while riding in a ski car. And the way he bursts out in giggles at a particularly odd moment. And that hair. Please, that hair.

Do you know who else is in “In the Heart of the Sea”? Cillian Murphy!

She was just thinking of this actor the other day, because she so loved him in “Inception” and “Red Eye.” She loves his cheekbones and his propensity to play bad guys. Why can’t he, for once, play a love interest?

Oh, yes, and the other Hemsworth is in it. The one who’s on the cover of Vanity Fair. If only they’d found a role for J-Law. She could have been a gender-bending cabin boy or something.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

 

The Guardian’s Review of Mockingjay 2

Self is writing this, her third post of Saturday, even though she swore she’d go out and walk the streets of Manhattan! On this unusually temperate December day!

She wants to see “Joy,” David O. Russell’s new movie starring Jennifer Lawrence.

Self loves J-Law.

Anything with J-Law in it, self will watch.

But she just can’t stand The Guardian review because it is all J-Law. There is not one mention of J-Hutch. And Peeta, his character, self’s thought all along, is the real reason The Hunger Games is such an enthralling story.

Sure, Katniss Everdeen is really kick-ass. Kick-ass like no other. Her hunting? Her bow and arrow? Not to mention her Mockingjay outfits? Epic.

But the Katniss Everdeen story wouldn’t be anything without the character of Peeta. The guy makes us believe she has a heart. He’s in love with her from afar, it’s the greatest stroke of luck (for her, not really for him) that he gets reaped along with her, he gets to play a fake romance with her that really screws up his brain, gets hijacked, then keeps trying to kill her.

In short, Peeta is a mess.

The films gave very short shrift to his character. Which was a mistake. Because when the end came, when Katniss gets to have him, there is just no ooomf.

Self doesn’t know if Lionsgate had no faith in Josh Hutcherson as an actor. Or if they just wanted to cash in on the J-Law phenomenon. But the films would have worked better if they’d given Peeta his due. Seriously.

That said, she really loves the way Mockingjay 2 ended: not because of the meadow scene (In this scene, J-Law looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal! Not a criticism, just saying), but because of the scenes with Peeta and Katniss together in her house: Peeta reading aloud Annie’s letter in the kitchen (And J-Hutch just looks so good here), the two watching it rain. Katniss joining Peeta at night in the guest room. Because: normal is good! Normal is where Katniss needs to be! The daily routines — and not her Messianic mission — save her.

Suzanne Collins wrote this ending because she knew she needed to show Katniss whole. The selflessness of the warrior woman needed to give way to her personal satisfaction.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

 

Vampire Everlark Forever!

(Never will self reveal the title of this fan fic. It’s sort of hokey. But, hey, it’s Christmas. When “Miracle on 34th Street” is showing everywhere, self pines for the Undead)

Peeta is CEO of one of the largest multinational organizations in the country. His secretary is 22-year-old Katniss Everdeen. Ms. Everdeen is so hard up for money that she never questions why her boss asks her to come in at midnight — BWAH HA HAAAA!

Later, though, she does uncover his secret.

Peeta complains that Katniss is “so not sexy.”

But when Finnick (Peeta’s half-brother: not a vampire) starts throwing Katniss some come-hither looks, Peeta becomes territorial.

Katniss secretly calls Peeta the “Vampire Grinch.” She doesn’t know he can read her thoughts!

He issues new instructions to Katniss regarding his “feeding schedule”:

Peeta:  I need you to space my meals. Schedule them every week. I can’t afford to have the women think they’re something special. No woman must be scheduled after the 20th and before the 27th.

Katniss:  But Mr. Mellark, don’t you need to feed constantly?

Peeta: I can manage to hold out for 10 days if absolutely necessary.

Katniss:  Will you spend time with your family?

Peeta: Why the hell would I want that?

Katniss: It’s Christmas!

Peeta: I won’t be alone. You’ll be with me. It’s not like you have any plans for the season either. You work every day, the only extra activities you have are with your sister, so you can’t have any time left for dating (finishing up with a Vampire Smirk)

Katniss: Oh, I have plans with Mr. Odair.

More smirking from Vampire Peeta.

Peeta: You’re coming with me to a party.

Katniss (inner monologue): WTF!

Peeta: It’s just a party, Katniss. That won’t affect me much, as long as there is no choir singing or religious service of some kind.

DUN DUN DUN!

Stay tuned.

Oops! Part 2: The Worst of Florence

“The liberating power of embarrassing stories” — on OOPS! The Daily Post Photo Challenge for this week.

Yes, WordPress! Yes, yes, yes!

That’s self’s view, in spades!

This week, self will gird her loins and share all her photo fails.

For instance, this one she took in Florence. She doesn’t know what she was trying to do: play with perspective, perhaps?

DSCN1732

Just Outside the Uffizi Gallery in Florence: November 2015

And here’s another of her fails. Self thinks she was trying to zoom in on the dog — kinda hard to do when one is walking, but she was on her way to — to — some museum.

DSCN1691

The Failed Doggie “Capture”: Walking towards the Santa Maria del Fiore in Florence, November 2015

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

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