Halloween-Themed Everlark! Miss Honeywell: “First We Feast”

Gale, Madge (Gale’s pregnant wife) and Katniss are off on a quest to find District Twelve, a mysterious place that doesn’t appear on any map. They are there because Katniss wants to scatter her parents’ ashes at the place where they were married: Twelve Souls Chapel, 508 Nightlock Road, District Twelve. Scouring the internet for information, Katniss learns that there is a very good roadside diner in Twelve, famous for its “delicious baked pastries” LOL!

Along the way, they pass an eerily deserted landscape, with only one gas station for miles and miles. Faster than one can say Holy Texas Chainsaw Massacre, an attendant appears, whose name just happens to be Haymitch. He makes various dolorous pronouncements (Such as: “Careful touching the merchandise, you might get tetanus.”). The very last thing he says to the trio is: STAY ALIVE.

Back in the car, the following conversation ensues:

Katniss:  Have you seen a single police station or car in the entire time we’ve been on this trip?

Gale (stubborn, per usual):  911 exists for a reason.

Katniss (mimicking a caller):  Hello, 911? There was a grumpy old man at a gas station that hurt my feelings.

As dear blog readers well know, everyone in fan fiction has an alias. But they are very real people, of course. One happens to live right in Hoboken, New Jersey. How does self know? Because Katniss Everdeen, Demonhunter, is set in Hoboken, New Jersey, LOL!

And after reading First We Feast, self knows for a fact that Miss Honeywell is English. How does self know this? Because only an English writer would have a sentence like this: “Sussing out where exactly the township of District Twelve was located hadn’t been easy.”

Self needs to warn dear blog readers that this is a very cheesy story, with double intendrés sprinkled all over the text like white on rice (Exhibit A: Peeta to Katniss, Do you want me to help you fill up. Actually he said something else, but self cannot for the life of her quote the actual line without cracking up)

And just as Katniss and Peeta (who met only minutes earlier, in the aforementioned diner with everyone’s favorite baker the sole occupant) kiss, they suddenly hear:

MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!

Then Katniss makes the very dumb decision to go with the stranger into the woods but, hey, what can self say, this is Peeta we’re talking about here!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

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