Watching “Kingsman” in Fort Bragg

The movie is a tad long, but otherwise great fun.


The guy who plays the lead looks like a cross between Matt Damon and Ryan Philippe. He also doesn’t seem very tall (Self, that’s rich! If J-Hutch hasn’t taught you yet: “Short” does not preclude being attractive!) He has a great affect, especially after he exchanges his gangsta uniform for a dapper suit and glasses.

Self loved the whole London Punk meets Savile Row vibe.

There are some angles where Colin Firth looks impossibly hot.

Self liked the blonde who plays the

Scandinavian Princess. She’s less enthused over the blonde who plays a Kingsman recruit (and the hero’s flirting buddy). The actress plays her a bit too sweet and vapid, in self’s humble opinion.

There is one wholly riveting woman in this movie, and that is the whippet-thin gal who plays the side-kick of the villain, Valentine (played hilariously, with a lisp, by Samuel L. Jackson). She wears tight black sheath dresses, and her legs are the same type of prosthetics as the one of Oscar Pistorius.

Self loves the scene where Colin Firth single-handedly takes out a whole church of right-wingers Everyone in the audience cheered at this one. (Of course! Self is in Mendocino County, the last place left in America where it is still a badge of pride to be considered a Liberal)

And there’s a scene between Michael Caine, playing a Kingsman Higher-Up, and the Young Punk Recruit, that’s just priceless. Context: It is apparently required of all Kingsman recruits that they adopt a pooch side-kick. Our hero’s is a French pug:

Caine to Hero: Nice dog (or something to that effect). What’s its name?

Hero: JB.

Caine: For James Bond?

Hero: No.

Caine (eyebrow raised): Jason Bourne?

Hero: No.

Caine surrenders.

Hero: Jack Bauer.

Good one!

Watch for those exploding heads at the end, each a technicolor mushroom cloud. Only a director as audacious as Matthew Vaughan could pull that off.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.


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