My dears, pretty soon self will be wearing her traveling hat again — it’s been so long, she can scarcely remember where she placed her passport.
In the meantime, she is watching as much American TV as possible, as she always discovers things by watching American TV. Yesterday afternoon, for instance, The Man came home and immediately began watching something called “The Transit of Venus” on the National Geographic Channel. The scientific consultants were three luscious babes, which self began to suspect was a set-up, because it is statistically impossible to find, anywhere in the world, three women who look like pin-ups, all of whom are interested in devoting their lives to the study of the planets.
And then, for some reason, self began watching something called “The Jeselnik Offensive” on Comedy Central. At first she thought: Yawn. Just another Daniel Tosh.
But then came a segment in which Jeselnik asked guests to identify “Which kind of Asian is this?”
Super. Self sat up and began to focus.
The first guest was a young-ish American white guy. A picture of an Asian was flashed on a screen. The guy hazarded a guess. (She thinks he said, “Chinese.”) Wrong! It was xxxxx.
Next guest was a young-ish African-American woman wearing hip-nerd glasses and a purple top. A picture of a young Asian woman was flashed on a screen. Self almost said, “Filipino.” The woman said something (Self thinks she said, “Chinese.”) Wrong! The young woman on the screen was Laotian! (After hearing the correct answer, self thought: “Of course! She does look very Laotian!”)
The final guest was a young-ish Asian American man. “What do you do?” Jeselnik asked (He asked this of the two previous guests, but self forgot their answers). The man replied, “I’m a movie critic.” Without skipping a beat, Jeselnik then said, “What’s the name of your blog?” (BWAH. HA. HA. HA!) The man said, “I’m on radio. And I also review movies for the Huffington Post.”
A face of a buck-toothed, widely grinning Asian man, with a bandana tied around his head, was flashed on the screen. “That’s Mickey Rooney,” the movie critic said. “Yes! But what kind of Asian is he playing?” Jeselnik asked. “Japanese!” the man said. Wrong! The right answer flashed on the screen: ORIENTAL.
Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.