Glory Be! Self Has Finally Seen “Skyfall”!

The screen is from Cebu. Self found it in the Redwood City World Market.

Self is back in the suburban anomie of Redwood City, California.  The city where, despite the name, there are no redwoods.  Where teen-agers in scruffy jeans slouch through Sequoia Station.  Where the local See’s store knows just exactly how many peanut butter patties self limits herself to buying per week.  Where every day self is reminded that she does not know how to cook a turkey.  Where there are movies galore!

Oh San Francisco Bay Area, the nights have never seemed so cold, especially when juxtaposed against the velvety heat of Bacolod City.

Here are a few of the momentous decisions self must make within the week:

  • Will she renew her membership to the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco for next year?
  • Will she give anyone a gift subscription to the New York Review of Books?
  • Will she agree to teach two back-to-back quarters for UCLA Extension’s Writers Program?
  • Can she finish her novel in time to submit to various contests?
  • Is Argo a lock for Best Picture and Best Director Oscar nominations?
  • Will she have time to see The Late Quartet this week?
  • Should she get take-out from Su Hong?
  • When does Justified Season 4 start?
  • Who did she leave off her Christmas card list last year?

Self saw “Skyfall.”  It was amazing.  The fight sequences were so beautiful, especially one near the end where you forget it’s Daniel Craig and just think Bond!  Bond!  Bond!  He and his opponent appear in silhouette against a background of the most planchent midnight blue.  Adele sings the theme song.  “Q” is played by a wonderful, skinny whippet of an actor with geek glasses, finely sculpted cheek bones, an air of great chagrin, and dark, muppet hair.  SPOILER ALERT:  Judi Dench’s M floats serenely out of the scene, but not before she gets to say, “To hell with dignity!” Self will miss the sardonic twist Daniel Craig gave to the response, “Yes, mum.”  Dench’s place is taken by Ralph Fiennes’ Mallory.  There is a new regular, a woman with a superb bod, whose name just happens to be Eve Moneypenny.  And oh, what can self say about Javier Bardem?  When he has bad hair, he is just the most cheeky kind of villain!  Self thinks the scene where he prissily approaches Bond, as if on tiptoe, as if disregarding completely the fact that Bond is roped to a chair, as if he is addressing an equal, is such a madcap, funny/poignant/scary scene.  Bardem in the flesh (like in those tabloid pics with Penelope Cruz) is very handsome, but when he has bad hair (and not only is his hair bad here, it also happens to be blonde), his eyes bug out accordingly, and he looks like a goldfish.  A malevolent goldfish.  With rotting teeth.  In one scene, self swears one can practically smell the rot.  At the end, the packed moviehouse (Century 20, downtown Redwood City) clapped.  For once, self joined in the accolades.  She has never clapped before, not even at the end of Inception, when the audience engaged in similar effusions of praise.  Self must admit, she didn’t like Sam Mendes when Kate Winslet left him because of allegations he had fallen in love with Rebecca Hall.  But with this movie, he has redeemed himself.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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