3rd (Extremely, Extremely Hawwtt) Monday of July 2012

Self caught the first screening of the last installment of Chris Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy, meaning she was at the Century 20 at 10:30 a.m. this morning.

She’d been wanting to see it, but the almost-three-hour running time quite dissuaded her.

The theater was almost half full, not bad for a Monday. And she completely forgot about Colorado. Well, self exaggerates a bit. She remembered, but only about 3/4 of the way through the movie. Actually, she even forgot that the movie was a long one. Several things about it quite surprised her. To wit:

She actually enjoyed Anne Hathaway in the role of Catwoman. For a while, she amused herself imagining a young Catherine Zeta-Jones or a Kate Beckinsale or even an Eva Mendes in the role. First of all, self doesn’t like actresses with such big eyes. And one cannot dispute the fact that Anne Hathaway’s orbs are like saucers. If she weren’t so pretty, it would be disturbing. Next, she is quite the curvaceous woman. And sometimes self thinks that Catwoman should be played by someone whippet-thin. The moment when Hathaway won self over? At one point, she is conversing with someone, and is called upon to express scorn. She does so by a very, very slow blink. This is no fancy-shmancy computer-generated slow blink here, but the actress actually executing a masterful display of eyelid-control. After that, self loved Hathaway’s Catwoman and didn’t even mind that her hair was chestnut (and a fake-looking chestnut, at that) and that her bung was extremely large (a fact which no self-respecting member of the audience could fail to notice, especially in the motorcycle-riding scenes at the end)

She began feeling nostalgic about Christian Bale.  Another confession:  his two earlier Dark Knight outings left self quite unmoved.  She remembers all the various Batman incarnations:  the Smart-aleck Batman (Michael Keaton), the Hunk Batman (Val Kilmer), the Dapper Batman (George Clooney — Self absolutely thinks Batman should not be dapper, even though she loves GC).  When Christian Bale presented as Batman, he seemed bland.  And then, Chris Nolan’s Batman was high opera and self wasn’t sure she liked Katie Holmes and then Katie gave way to Maggie Gyllenhaal only look what happened to her, and now in this movie we have a nice (meaning: surprisingly moral) Catwoman and Marion Cotillard.

Perhaps self was feeling nostalgic about Christian Bale because she’d heard that the next Batman would be Ryan Reynolds?  Not that she has anything against Ryan Reynolds.  But he simply cannot do dark and brooding.

So it is good that the last Dark Knight should end with Bale.  And self must say, this movie was just packed with A-list character actors:  Besides Gary Oldman, and Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman, there was even a hilarious cameo by that chisel-cheeked, gorgeous, Interesting Bad Guy Who Might Be Either Irish or Scottish (Darn, what is his name???) who occurs in only a few scenes towards the end, but whose appearance (in a jacket that looks as if it had been attacked by a million rats) and manner of pounding the gavel (He plays a judge of some sort) had self absolutely in stitches!

Self had seen Joseph Gordon Levitt in a previous Batman, and it was really stupid:  he played a Bad Guy.  JGL’s turn as a Bad Guy in a Batman movie should mercifully be forgotten.  He was about as Bad as a paper cut.  Compared to Jim Carrey’s androgynous Joker, and Jack Nicholson’s truly menacing Joker, and Danny de Vito’s Penguin, and Aaron Eckhardt’s Two-Face, JGL’s Bad Guy was so forgettable that self can’t even remember his character’s name.

But all of that is erased by this movie, because here JGL plays a. Very. Smart. Cop.

Three cheers for the rehabilitation of JGL in the Batman franchise!

Let’s see, what else about today is worth mentioning?  Other than the fact that self spent three hours in a darkened movie theater and then emerged to extreme heat?

  • She went to Rite-Aid and was inveigled to join some Rite-Aid Membership Club.
  • She lined up at the post office to mail a story to Conjunctions and was just congratulating herself on this not being a contest submission (thereby enabling self to stop hemorrhaging contest entry fees, an act of supreme discipline), when it dawned on her that she had forgotten to put a stamp on the SASE, such was her hurry to go out the door.  But if she tore open the mailing envelope, the story might fall out during transit.  Self decided she could take her chances with Conjunctions.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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