HOW SELF KNOWS SHE IS HERE (AND NOT THERE)

Self is very cognizant of the fact that she is in a weird place called California.

She is very cognizant of this fact because:

  1. It is HOT.  As in HAWWTTT!  As in, melt-your-pants hot!  And nowhere else she has been in so far this year, and that includes INDIA, and that also includes the PHILIPPINES, has been THIS hot!
  2. She is watching the Olympics hoopla.  On all TV stations, at this particular point in time, all over this great nation, millions of people are ooh-ing and aaah-ing at shots of a fabulous city of lights, and bridges, and awe-inspiring views of a river called the Thames, and — oh my goodness!  It is London!  And she is NOT THERE!  She is over here!  Across not only “the pond” but across a whole continent!  She is in the land of Disneyland!  And Hollywood!  And “Real Housewives of Orange County”!  And “Dancing with the Stars!”
  3. The Quidditch Team, that absolutely fab group of five other writers who spent the whole month of June talking each other’s ears — and Hamish’s — off in Hawthornden (They insist on naming themselves “the Quidditch team,” and self would just like to say that she doesn’t know the least thing about Quidditch:  She has read two of the heaviest Harry Potter books, and watched all the movies, and she’d rather be known as one of the Fabulous Six rather than a member of the Quidditch team, but alas, she is outvoted once again), have been sending weekly updates:  Allison is in Oklahoma, Richard is in Prince Edward Island, Joan is in south of England, Jenny is in Oxford, and Marylee (that lucky gal!) is cavorting with art experts somewhere in either the south of France or the rest of Europe.  Which leaves self here to hold up her end (representing the entire West Coast of America).  Which is why she has made sure to post about making margaritas.  And attending all those arts festivals.  Tomorrow, she insists she must watch the new Batman movie —  yes, in spite of the tragedy in Colorado.  The husband wants to know why self is so callous.  He means, why isn’t she more loath to see a movie that has inspired such violence and mayhem.  Self does not know why.  She doesn’t know what the connection is between Batman and mayhem.  The Batman movie didn’t inspire that guy.  Did it?  Did it?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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