What’s on Self’s Mind Today?

What is on self’s mind today?

Food.  The need not to partake of further.

The sizing here in the UK is all wrong.  Self noticed it in Heathrow:  she wandered into several stores and tried on a few things.  The sizes would say 4 or 6.  The dresses were so skimpy they wouldn’t even go over self’s shoulders.  She managed to struggle into one and couldn’t breathe.

“Sorry, I don’t have a size 10,” a saleswoman told her, in a very kind tone.

Every day, lunch is brought up to the residents in a picnic basket, like this one:

Lunch is brought up to the residents’ rooms daily, in a basket like this one.

It consists of a sandwich on rye or whole wheat bread, a thermos of warm soup, and a piece of fruit.

Yesterday night (and this was only after self’s first full day here), self began feeling that her pants were tight.

Today, self hitched a ride to Tesco, the huge supermarket in the next town, Bonnyrigg.  She found a cute little F & F tunic, which cost 16 pounds (about $24.50.  Come to think of it, that does seem a little price-y for a supermarket dress!  The brand was F & F).  Since said dress was just in a section of the supermarket, there didn’t seem to be fitting rooms.  Self asked a lady walking by with a cart, “Is this a medium, you think?”  She looked at the tag.  She replied, “Yes, it’s a medium.”

As soon as self got back to the Castle, she slipped into the bathroom and tried the dress on.  She must confess to feeling some confusion, when she had difficulty pulling it past her shoulders.  When she looked at herself in the mirror, her muffin belly was on full and glorious display.  Horrors!

She took off the dress and looked at the label:  Size 6.

OMG!  Never ever will self eat double servings of dinner, as she did last night.  Nor down a whole thermos of soup, as she did yesterday and today.  And she’ll refuse the strawberries doused in heavy cream, and she’ll never eat another slice of Scottish bread or cheese.  Hmmm, what else?  She’ll start searching for Wallace’s cave, and explore the Pictish caves beneath the castle.  She’ll walk to Bonnyrigg next time, instead of hitching a ride.  Heck, she might even try walking to Edinburgh!  How’s that for a neat weight-loss regimen?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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