- “What’s your game, young lady? You’re too smart to be a grifter and too polite to be a lackey, which must mean you’re an opportunist.”
— Mr. Grayson speaking to his wife’s “pet bird,” the preternaturally refined, infuriatingly skinny party planner Ashley (Note to blog readers: the characters on this show speak much too quickly, alas! Self’s quotes are therefore necessarily para-phrases)
What happened to Tyler while self was in India? He can’t possibly have gone bye-bye? Noooo — !
- “Seriously, Ems, why not let him see the tape? After all, he’s already added pyromania to Amanda Clarke’s long list of felonies.”
— Nolan Ross, billionaire tech whiz, Hamptons misfit, and possessor of the most outrageous blonde flip this side of — the young Hayley Mills???
- “Don’t let the blaze you start ever dictate when you finish.”
— Grandpa Grayson, the most inconvenient Grandpa in the history of prime-time soaps
- “Daddy, do you remember when Justin ____ broke up with me on my Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party?”
— Charlotte Grayson, Daniel Grayson’s younger sister and SPOILER ALERT also (TA-RA!) the half-sister of Amanda Clarke
“Revenge,” you are the ne-plus-ultra of television cheese, and not since perhaps “Nip/Tuck” has a television show ever made self laugh so hard. BTW, Episode 13 makes particularly outstanding use of Arch Villain Madeleine Stowe aka Victoria Grayson’s pout, always enhanced by vermilion lips. (In a previous episode, Ashley the party planner asks Victoria, “Which of these would you like to wear for the party?” Victoria responds, with a dismissive wave of her hand: “No more bandage dresses!” Ashley doesn’t even skip a beat: “Right. I’ll burn these immediately.”)