REVENGE, Episode 13 (“Commitment”): Addictive Silliness

  • “What’s your game, young lady?  You’re too smart to be a grifter and too polite to be a lackey, which must mean you’re an opportunist.”

—  Mr. Grayson speaking to his wife’s “pet bird,” the preternaturally refined, infuriatingly skinny party planner Ashley  (Note to blog readers: the characters on this show speak much too quickly, alas!  Self’s quotes are therefore necessarily para-phrases)

What happened to Tyler while self was in India?  He can’t possibly have gone bye-bye?  Noooo — !

  • “Seriously, Ems, why not let him see the tape?  After all, he’s already added pyromania to Amanda Clarke’s long list of felonies.”

—  Nolan Ross, billionaire tech whiz, Hamptons misfit, and possessor of the most outrageous blonde flip this side of —  the young Hayley Mills???

  • “Don’t let the blaze you start ever dictate when you finish.”

—  Grandpa Grayson, the most inconvenient Grandpa in the history of prime-time soaps

  • “Daddy, do you remember when Justin ____ broke up with me on my Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party?”

—  Charlotte Grayson, Daniel Grayson’s younger sister and SPOILER ALERT also (TA-RA!)  the half-sister of Amanda Clarke

“Revenge,” you are the ne-plus-ultra of television cheese, and not since perhaps “Nip/Tuck” has a television show ever made self laugh so hard.  BTW, Episode 13 makes particularly outstanding use of Arch Villain Madeleine Stowe aka Victoria Grayson’s pout, always enhanced by vermilion lips.  (In a previous episode, Ashley the party planner asks Victoria, “Which of these would you like to wear for the party?”  Victoria responds, with a dismissive wave of her hand:  “No more bandage dresses!”  Ashley doesn’t even skip a beat: “Right.  I’ll burn these immediately.”)

Stay tuned.

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