Self Knew It Was Only a Matter of Time —

Self knew it was only a matter of time before she heard possibly the two most dreaded words in the vocabulary of Filipino expressions:

Tumaba ka (You’ve gotten fat)

It’s such a great phrase:  indicates concern as well as insult.  So typically PINOY!

Immediately, self jumped up and demanded that the maidservant (Self, stop being so fancy!  OK, just maid then) deliver right to her very feet a weigh scale.  Since Dear Bro was not at home, and the only member of the family present was Ying’s beautiful daughter, Anita, who self is sure would never blab, the other maids gathered around the scale and looked down at the numbers indicating self weight.

“Huh!  That’s not so bad,” said Bet.

After which, the same person who said she was fat delivered to self’s bedroom a tray of fresh fruit.

“Huh,” quoth self.  “Weren’t you the one who just said I was fat?  Why are you bringing this?”

Self just has to say:  fruit in and of itself is probably the healthiest snack one can imagine, but there were also two additional side plates with, how interesting, a bottle of condensada (condensed milk) and a bowl of something white, sugar-y looking.  Filipinos, when will you ever learn:  fruit is only healthy if eaten without condensada or sugar.  Anyhoo, if dearest blog readers don’t believe self, here is a picture (the food is on a tray because it was delivered to her bedroom —  BWAH HA HAA!)

Dear Blog Readers, here is the tray delivered to self's bedroom just a few minutes ago!

Is that not the cutest thing, dear blog readers?

Stay tuned.

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