Andrew Garfield OWNS “The Social Network”

Just returned from watching the 11:20 a.m. screening of “The Social Network.”  (Hubby is up for a movie this weekend, but just not that one.  Go figure.  Methinks he wants to see the French movie —  “Hearbreaker” —  currently showing in Aquarius)  In order to fully appreciate this movie, dear blog readers, one must have a high tolerance for watching a bunch of cocky Harvard undergrads running around in ugly sweats while exuding brain power.  (The movie’s big reveal:  Harvard students, in spite of being able to rattle off hard words without so much as a second thought, can be just as petty and immature as the rest of us.  Even, childish!)

The lone scene involving a Stanford student has her crawling out of bed (with Justin Timberlake, no less!)  in very cute boy shorts with “Stanford” emblazoned across her ass.  This is so that viewers who are so distracted that they fail to listen to the dialogue can be certain that this young lady is, in fact, from Stanford.  Stanfordites will be happy to know that even though this is the only scene where Stanford figures, it is indeed a very long scene, and the young lady gets to show off the fact that, in addition to being a Biology major, she is also fluent in French.  (The young woman who portrays the Stanford student is pretty, but not in an obvious, Megan Fox-type way:  which is to say, her level of “pretty” is still within the realm of possibility.  Excellent casting!)

Which brings up another very important question:  Why are all the female Harvard students good-looking?  Self graduated from Stanford and had many opportunities to visit friends who were at Harvard:  she knows from first-hand experience that comely lasses at both institutions are few and far between.  (That said, Jennifer Connelly did attend Stan-fuhrd!  Self can just imagine the classes —  how could anyone concentrate?  Self means:  if one were male and Jennifer happened to be sitting in the next chair???)

This movie glamorizes life in our elite institutions.  Heck, it even glamorizes Palo Alto!  Next thing you know, people will be walking along University Avenue, looking for Justin Timberlake!  And the movie depicts the homely Eichlers off Oregon Expressway as the setting for hopping wild parties!  Involving much substance abuse!  And more Justin Timberlake!

But the movie was fun.  Self’s advice for those who are planning to see it?  Don’t take it too seriously.

Jesse Eisenberg is a way better-looking version of Mark Zuckerberg.

When the credits rolled, the name self searched for was the name of the young man who plays Eduardo Saverin (Facebook co-founder:  Alas, the movie is very much about his rise and fall.  Which is a much more interesting story, in self’s humble opinion, than Zuckerberg’s rise and continued rise.  If this movie’s version of events is to be believed, Zuckerberg created Facebook from a desire to get back at the pretty girl —  from Boston U, yet!  —  who had the temerity to call him an asshole).

What self really wants to know is:  Was Eduardo Saverin really that hot in person?  Was he really that brainy and hot?

Self couldn’t believe her eyes when the credits came up:  Andrew Garfield!  In all honesty, self was expecting to see a Latino name.  She had never, ever seen Andrew Garfield in a movie before.  She recognized the name as belonging to the guy who’s been cast as the new Spiderman.  But she had never known what he looked like.

Now self really wants to see “Never Let Me Go.”

She hears Sergey Brin is angling (or may have already sanctioned) a Google movie.  That means more Palo Alto!  More hot Stanford co-eds!  More!  More!  Perhaps a role can be found for Justin Timberlake in this movie as well?  (He was actually perfect in the role of paranoid impresario Sean Parker)

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Amazing! Wonderful!

Giants won tonight!  Self made it home in time (from tutoring at Notre Dame Writing Center) to catch the last two innings.  Lincecum pitched all the way to the end!  He threw 135 pitches!  Self will never complain about neck or shoulder pain again.  All she needs to do is think: 135 pitches in one night!  How that young man’s arm managed to remain still attached to his shoulder at the end of the game is something that simply defies comprehension.

Driving home, self was glad she’d had her brakes fixed today.  Because three deer suddenly materialized on Alameda, and if she’d still had the rotten brakes, she might have hit them.  What were three deer doing, wandering across Alameda de las Pulgas this evening?  There was one big deer and two little ones.  After that, self’s heart was racing.

Tonight, barely a month into the Fall semester, self’s dance card was full.  That is, she had student after student after student, one after the other, for over two hours.  She had to help out with someone who wanted to know the difference between a compound and a complex sentence (Why?  Self asked herself.  Why is it important to know?  Self went through her whole life not knowing the difference, and it hasn’t hindered her any!  Until now!)

Then there were three students who needed help deciding whether to write a paper on Bernard Malamud’s story, “Angel Levine,” or Raymond Carver’s “Cathedral.”  What a choice!  Self loves Malamud, but in the end all the students decided to write about Carver (In retrospect, self shouldn’t have been so surprised.  Malamud’s magical realism is altogether harder for students to comprehend than Carver’s seemingly straightforward —  but actually deeply mysterious —  story)

The last student was writing a paper on “The Marriage of Figaro,” an opera self knew absolutely nothing about.  But now she knows a lot!  For one thing, she now knows the opera dealt with the cultural and political relationships in a European country!  In the 18th century!  (Once again, self digresses)  The student left after an hour, professing to feel quite confident in his paper-writing abilities.

Today, as well, self managed to garden.  She watered, and did some light pruning of the apple and magnolia.  October is a wonderful time to be in the garden.  For one thing, it is cool, and self feels less manic about the watering.  Today, in the late afternoon, when self looked at her garden, and saw everything so fecund, and new buds starting to open on her Fourth of July, and the Japanese anemones covered with pretty white flowers, she was happy.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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