On Getting Stung By a Bee

Self was happy for, like, 10 minutes today.

For one thing, her putative novel-in-progress suddenly bloomed and she was at the end, or anyway closing in on page 300 (amazing!), and was galloping along like a horse to water.

Then she realized a few things:

  • She hadn’t heard from son in aaaages.
  • She hadn’t watered her garden in aaaages.
  • It was hot.

So self went outside and started to water with a vengeance. And she hadn’t gotten very far into it when she felt a sharp sting and looked down at herself. She was wearing sweat pants, but when she rolled up her right pants leg, she saw what looked like a scratch.  All of a sudden, she had the horrible thought that perhaps a caterpillar had crawled up her pants. She kept looking at her leg (as if expecting a caterpillar to materialize at any moment), and she suddenly saw a small puncture mark, just above her right knee. Then self began to feel numbness in her leg. Then thought, with no justification whatsoever:  I am going to die!!!  I’ve been bitten by a tarantula!!!

At that moment, self noticed a very angry, fat bee with yellow and black stripes buzzing around her. Then the skin around the puncture mark began to grow red and swell. Then self noticed there were actually two puncture marks, but close together. Then she began to feel very itchy. Then she ran to the faucet and bathed her entire leg in cold water.  Feeling in her leg was slipping away fast.  That is, self’s entire leg was getting progressively numb.

Holy cow! Is this all the thanks self gets for putting her nose to the grindstone all summer? Is this really going to be the culmination of her summer? Her first bee sting ever?  Really?

As a matter of fact, self thinks she might have a solution:  right in her fridge!  A six-pack of Negro Modelo!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

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