Months Later, Self Finally Girds Her Courage

Dear blog readers may remember that last year, self had the temerity to apply for a Guggenheim.  Her thinking went something like this:

Boy, self could sure use $40,000.

If self had $40,000, she could buy a new car to replace her 1998 Altima.

If self had $40,000, she could pay off son’s college loan, in entirety.

If self had $40,000, she could install air-conditioning in her (boiling-hot-in-summer) cottage.

And, of course, the raison d’etre for applying for a Guggenheim:  If self had $40,000, she wouldn’t have to do anything except write, which would then lead to her producing xxx amount of books in the next couple of years.

So, of course self didn’t get the Guggenheim.  If she did, do dear blog readers actually think she’d be wasting all this time blogging ??@@##!!

But, she never actually perused the list of successful applicants.  That is, until an hour ago.  And here are a few of the reasons self did not get the Guggenheim:

Reason # 1:   Lorraine Adams (Her first novel, Harbor, is still one of self’s favorite novels)
Reason # 2:   Tom Bissell (No need to list his books, but dear blog readers can take self’s word for it:  he is fab)
Reason # 3:   Ethan Canin (Very famous writer:  Self is sure you have all heard of him.  From Iowa?)
Reason # 4:   Lav Diaz (Get excited:  He is Filipino!  Filipino!  Filipino!)
Reason # 5:   Anthony Doerr (Also famous; and quite a good writer, in self’s humble opinion —  and obviously also in the judges’)

(So far, # of male to female recipients is running 4 to 1, what’s up with that???)

Reason # 6: Nell Freudenberger (Famous.  Not only famous, hot)
Reason # 7: Philip Gourevitch (For writing the way he does about Rwanda —  one of self’s heroes!)
Reason # 8: Kimiko Hahn (Asian American!  Connected to Asian American Writers Workshop in New York!  YAY!)
Reason # 9: Colum McCann (Obeisance!  Obeisance, oh Distinguished Guggenheim Committee!)
Reason # 10: Monique Truong (Again, obeisance, oh Distinguished Guggenheim Committee!)

And, that’s it:  at least 10 reasons why self did not deserve to get the Guggenheim.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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