“Predator 2” vs. “Predators”

Yesterday was the first time in ages that son was able to watch an action movie with self. The movie we chose was “Predators.” Self quite bemused by Adrien Brody’s new career direction, appearing in one science fiction movie after another: Exhibit A, “Splice.” Exhibit B, “The Jacket.”

Anyhoo, the movie was quite good, self found the experience hugely enjoyable, but admits that may have more to do with the fact that she was sitting there sharing a huge bucket of popcorn (This was lunch, at 11 a.m.) with son than with the movie’s inherent excellence.

Self thinks that Adrien Brody was a good casting choice.   At least, when he removed his shirt for the climactic final battle, he was actually buff.  And self appreciated the fact that the movie was so true to its genre.  That is, when it presents us with a yakuza, audiences can rest assured that, somewhere down the road, this character will get into a sword fight.  And when a character whips out a Polaroid of his two kids, you can pretty much predict that he’s going to be “Predator bait.”  Same goes for anyone who so much as touches said Polaroid.  Such are the rigors of the rules of the genre, followed to a “T” by Director Nimrod Antal (whose name was so familiar that self had to look him up:  Ah, he was director of “Vacancy,” a film self watched solely on the basis of a fine review from The Economist.  Afterwards, self wished she could tell The Economist to quit reviewing horror movies)

Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace, and Walton Goggins (who plays Boyd Crowder in “Justified” and didn’t even need a costume change) lent the proceedings an air of droll wit. Alice Braga is there for eye-candy but she can act (She and Moon Bloodgood and Zoe Saldana: the new eye candy of science fiction, BWAH HA HAAA!)

That night, hubby was very interested to hear how “Predators” was. When self told him she liked it, he immediately hunted up “Predators 2,” with Danny Glover, and started to watch. This version of “Predator” is quite amusing. Hubby said his “favorite” sequence takes place in a tenement. This is what self saw in that sequence:

  • Danny Glover climbing on a satellite dish antenna or, if that’s not an antenna, then some generic long white pole that allows him to dangle precariously just inches from the edge of the side of a tenement building
  • Predator treating its gaping wounds with crystals (At first self thought it was crack) in a bathroom of aforementioned tenement building
  • A li’l old lady in a bright red tent dress telling her deaf hubby that “Someone is in the bathroom.”  Naturally, he ignores her or doesn’t hear her (The myriad ways in which deafness can be used in movies never ceases to amaze self!)
  • Li’l old lady approaching the bathroom door with a raised broom.  Then all hell breaks loose, Predator jumps out of the bathroom by breaking down the door.

In the end, Danny Glover survives and is granted the Predator Medal of Honor. Or something to that effect.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

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