Zeitgeist, January 2010 (An Extremely Shallow Post)

A woman in her 70s was pulled alive from the rubble of the Haitian capital yesterday. Anderson Cooper was on hand, and interviewed two doctors who self happens to think are extremely eyecandy-licious: Dr. Sanjay Gupta and a blond hunky sort. (So perhaps “Grey’s Anatomy” is not such a fantasy after all! Also, Anderson, your hair is thinning. Time for hair grafts!)

A Republican defeated a Democrat to take the senate seat that Ted Kennedy had held for decades. The Democratic candidate gave such an eloquent, heartfelt speech, it almost had self in tears. Then self watched the Rebuplican’s speech, and it was — eyecandy all the way! Not only that, right behind him were two alluring women, one black-haired and the other blonde, and if those are his daughters there’ll be lots of papparazzi stalkers in the vicinity of their whereabouts, for the next four years!

After that, there was a brief advertisement featuring Michelle Obama looking straight at the camera with her enormous, beautiful eyes, making a plea for viewers to help battle childhood obesity. Of all the causes she could have picked to champion, self wonders, why that? Self does not know a single obese child. Well, perhaps this is more of a problem in other parts of the country.

Finally, Angelina Jolie supposedly cheated on Brad Pitt with her dialect coach for the movie “Salt.” Apparently, the housekeeper who cleaned the rooms said it was “a mess,” there were sex toys everywhere, and “black rubber sheets” on the bed. In the meantime, poor Brad was left back in their rented house on Long Island, minding the children.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.


  1. icyexhale said,

    January 20, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    You must not be in the south. Many obese children and adults here. I serve tables in a resturant, I know. “Little Bobby will have a sweet tea and the dinner chicken parm. Extra cheese, and go light on the veggies, he doesn’t like that sort of thing.” More than one table has comanded the bulk of a sweet tea urn. I think sweet tea contributes to obesity more than anything else. That’s a big thing down here…both sweet tea and obesity. Love your post.

  2. January 21, 2010 at 12:16 am

    I am not in the south, you are right. I love your dialogue above. I think you should write a story about Little Bobby and his Mom in a restaurant.

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