Hot Tennis Players & Hot Mikes

All right-ey, m’lovelies! Self is feeling mighty fine: she’s at the moment positioned in front of HD flat-screen TV, and right now it’s presenting the men’s quarter-finals of the U.S. Open, and one of the players looks like Zach Quinto. That is, he is dark, dark, dark, and he is all in black (except for bright yellow headband and matching wristbands). Self isn’t even watching the ball and doesn’t know the score. Suffice it to say, she is in heaven.

Self’s tennis crush used to be Rafael Nadal, but this year he is very very thin. Which makes him look like he’s coming off a catastrophic illness.

Melanie Oudin was ousted yesterday, but she gave an interview where she declared herself now a celebrity. Which — it is very good to know that one has achieved this status. Because then one can start hunting down those celebrity endorsements and making oodles of money. Instead of sitting there like a lump on a log and thinking about tennis.

Going back to topic of catastrophic illness, self saw Steve Jobs on TV yesterday. He looked himself (except, of course, thin), but his voice seems to have changed, seems to have become higher-pitched, nasal. Or perhaps he always did sound that way, only self didn’t notice because he wasn’t as thin? Whatever.

Today, self bought a copy of the San Francisco Chronicle from Safeway, while she was en route to the downtown Redwood City library. And on the front page was an article about that Sacramento congressman who, while sitting in the main chamber (or whatever you call that room where the state assembly votes and discusses weighty political issues), chatted with a colleague about how much his mistress loves being spanked, not knowing that the mike in front of him was “hot” and was picking up everything he said. The two men were by no means the only occupants of the room, but they apparently felt no embarrassment about indulging in this topic of conversation.

Well, self knows that the congressman who liked spanking his mistress has resigned, but what she finds really interesting is the notion that he’d done this before — that is, discussed his sex life with his colleague, right there in the chambers, where they were surrounded by oodles of other congressmen (Oh, would that all the mikes in that room had been hot! Then, who knows what other racy conversation might have been occurring?)

The colleague was a portly, elderly gent who looked like somebody’s grandfather. He was apparently used to listening to conversations of this sort for he never interjected a word, never warned his colleague that it was an inappropriate topic of conversation, and moreover didn’t bat an eye when the congressman mentioned having had so much sex on Wednesday.

That’s what self finds really funny. Afterwards, that other congressman was interviewed, and he declared he had nothing to do with his colleague’s sexual activity, not in any way, shape or form. But of course he had something to do with it, because self feels the randy congressman would never have opened his mouth, nor would he have gone on at such length, if he hadn’t known he had an engaged and interested listener.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.

2 thoughts on “Hot Tennis Players & Hot Mikes

  1. Yes, Nadal does look too skinny. I’m worried. I wish they would finish this set. Every time Nadal takes off his shirt I literally fall off the bed!


  2. Aaargh, so much suspense! I can’t stand it. They said it was really really cold in New York and that was upsetting Nadal’s stomach.

    They switched to a doubles match so I stopped watching . . .


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