Self’s Goose Is Cooked!

No, not really. Self, let’s face it:  sometimes you are just tooo pessimistic.

To put herself in a better frame of mind, self decides to draw up a list of the good things that have happened to her this evening:

Good Thing # 1

Shortly after she began a post, the phone rang:   it turned out to be hubby. “I’ll be home in half an hour,” he said. “What happened? Have you been laid off?” self asked, without skipping a beat. “No,” hubby said, “But my boss was.” What? What? What? Why was hubby’s boss laid off and not hubby? Self, when will you learn to stop looking a gift horse in the mouth?.

Thank goodness self just passed for some Kentucky Fried!  But now she’ll have to figure out a way to halve a three-piece chicken meal into two equal halves. Not to mention the fact that, when self opens KFC box, the chicken looks all wrong! That is, this is definitely not “extra-crispy!” And she had to repeat herself for the benefit of the server, at least six times!

First he thought she said “hot wings” and she doesn’t know how he thought that, when she was enunciating so carefully: THREE-PIECE MEAL.

Then he thought she wanted a side of mashed potatoes, when what she wanted was macaroni and cheese.

And now self sees that he did include a hot biscuit, but no butter. Aaargh!

But, no time to worry about that, because now she has to clear all her books and papers off the dining room table, and make like she’s been doing nothing all day but water, clean house, etc etc She doesn’t know why this is so, all she knows is that’s the way it is (Self must be a master magician: in spite of having to conduct this wonderful charade, she has managed to write three, almost four, books in the last two decades)

Good Thing # 2

Self got to watch “Pitch Black” on TV —  the sci-fi movie that David Twohy directed in 2000.   The one where Vin Diesel plays a half-Furyan with pebbl-y eyes.  The one where Radha Mitchell gets to play fearless (yet touchingly vulnerable) third-in-command of a doomed ship.  The one where huge flocks of bird-like monsters (somewhat like pelicans in appearance, but with extra-long beaks and razor-sharp teeth) descend and tear their human victims into infinitesimal shreds, like so much snack food!  Boy, it is great.

Good Thing # 3

Self learned that Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” was nominated for three Emmys, in the News & Documentary category (How self loves, absolutely loves, Bourdain!  She’ll certainly be rooting for him at The Emmy Awards on Sept. 21!)

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.

2 thoughts on “Self’s Goose Is Cooked!

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