The Future Is Here, and a Creature Sighting

It is a gorgeous day but it started out chilly and you sat in the living room reading the San Francisco Chronicle (an article about Navigenics, a Redwood City company that is directed at consumer DNA testing) and you thought: The future is here.

But apparently no one believed you, because no one looked at the post, and so you decided to go outside and see what was up in the backyard, see which plants were blooming and what-not, and you believe you saw the same squirrel you saw early this morning, stretched full length, its back legs on a branch, its front legs grasping the (supposedly squirrel-proof) bird feeder. The squirrel grabs mouthfuls of seed, and now you recall that the bird feeder is supposed to drop, closing its feeding spouts, whenever anything as weighty as a squirrel tries to jump on its little perches, but the squirrel just keeps grabbing mouthfuls of seed, and Gracie (who metamorphosed into an almost unrecognizably obese and slothful creature while self was in Tel Aviv) is not inclined to go outside, and finally you get very annoyed after watching the squirrel for about 10 minutes, and you shout something at the top of your lungs, and you go outside with your laptop, and you decide that what you really need to do is write more.

(Time passes)

In the afternoon, around 3 p.m., you began to feel an ineffable craving for a Keanu Reeves movie and/ or a coconut cream pie and, figuring that the Keanu Reeves movie would be cheaper (and probably better for your figure) than the pie, you wended your way to decrepit old cinema off Bayshore, there to discover that the 3:25 show had Spanish subtitles, which you found to be a terrible distraction, since the movie is practically one long F— you! rant, and so you decided to return at a later time, and now the problem was where would you find the best, the most delicious coconut cream pie on the Peninsula?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.


On TV: Law & Order: CI (not the Vincent D’Onofrio team, the other one)

Female Partner: Where is your husband?

Rich Woman in Evening Gown: He’s doing what he always does. Writing.

(Self: ha ha ha ha ha)

Chris Noth: We need to speak to him.

Rich Woman in Evening Gown: You can’t. He’s writing a series of short stories about the desolate and forlorn.

(Self again: ha ha ha ha ha)

* * * *

For your edification, dear blog readers: fascinating photo captions from the April 21, 2008 issue of The New Yorker:

    On p. 110: Eleven billion elevator trips are made each year in New York. Otis Elevator estimates that it transports the equivalent of the world’s population every five days.
    On p. 97: SHOWCASE “Family Tree” (2000) by Zhang Huan. The artist asked three calligraphers to write on his face for one day.

Stay tuned.

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