Self Asks, “Why?”

Blog views back to pre-Tel Aviv levels. Self watching glumly as the flag on the Carinis’ front lawn, across the street, snaps and crackles in blustery winds. This afternoon, students trudged around xxxx community college in parkas trimmed with fake fur. Only a few days ago, self was sweating while wandering the Neve Tzedek neighborhood of Tel Aviv with Dearest Mum. Why, oh why?

The Olympic Torch arrives in San Francisco tomorrow. Which should be extremely exciting, as protesters will be sure to try and grab/douse it. Did anyone see what happened to that poor woman who was holding the torch aloft in Paris? Why, she was practically clobbered by a group of very tall men in track suits. She momentarily disappeared from view and self was sure she had bought it. Also on the news last night was an extremely entertaining clip showing a daring Frenchman attempting to douse the torch by flinging a bucket of water over it. (Self, have you completely forgotten? Tomorrow, you will be in the City, specifically in the Ferry Building, where you and Nona will be reading and discussing the short story writing process. Let’s hope torch relay is over by then)

In the mail today, a furniture catalog, addressed to Dear Hubby. Now everyone wants to sell him stuff, ever since he ordered self-forgets-what from Hammacher Schlemmer last year. And self now recalls that almost the first thing she heard husband doing, the day after she got back, was placing a phone order with Hammacher Schlemmer for: a) Something that looked like a giant green Pogo stick, which hubby explained he would strap on his feet for the purpose of aerating the lawn. You see, one maneuvers on the thing by jumping, and so hubby will be jumping — hop, hop, hop — all over our front lawn, like a giant Easter rabbit, and b) a special rear view mirror that is so wide it successfully eliminates those blasted driver “blind spots” and c) an exceedingly interesting gadget which– self knows not what it does, but it did look interesting.

Also in today’s mail is the latest issue of Vanity Fair with — hallelujah — a person close to self’s age on the cover. This is none other than the Material Girl, looking very hip in black unitard and almost-thigh-high leather boots. The caption is: MADONNA: UNBOWED, UNCOWED, STILL TAKING ON THE WORLD.

Oooh, and here’s Condoleeza, popping up on the Ch. 2 news. She was in Tel Aviv last week, and that city’s Hotel Row, Hayarkon Boulevard, was crawling with cops and security details. Now it seems there is a rumor going around that she is interested in being McCain’s Vice President? But even more interesting is the gossip self heard that Oliver Stone is about to direct a Bush movie, with Josh Brolin to play Bush, Thandie Newton to play Condee and Welsh hottie Ioan Gruffud to play Tony Blair. Say what?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.

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