Things Self Has Learned Today, While Supine on Couch with (Possibly) the Flu

Why, God, why. Self was really really sick just a few weeks ago, while hubby was in Manila. Still, out of extreme love for sole fruit of her loins, she made herself drive three hours south to San Luis Obispo because son expressed desire to see her. When she arrived, of course, she immediately emptied her wallet, and even watched “Cloverfield” in Five Cities cinema that was full of young people veritably bursting with hormones and good health. Then, she crawled on home.

Just as she was starting to feel better, hubby arrived.

Then, last weekend. There was, first, a concert at Davies. Then, a dinner with hubby’s cousin and aunt in Pleasant Hill (55 miles east). Then, joyous day spent knocking around RWC with niece G. Then, to SF State to meet a class (who asked self some extremely sharp questions!) Then, today, self was supposed to meet Alka, film-maker friend just back from Berlin. We agreed to meet for breakfast in Chocolate Mousse Bakery in San Carlos. But, alas, self’s head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and it was raining, pouring, and self had no cold medicines in the house and the only thing that made her feel better was imbibing Coke, so by the end of the day (after canceling breakfast with Alka), she lay down on the couch and downed can after can of Coke, which is probably the reason why self feels so distended at the moment. Self also discovered that hubby has a stash of Cheetos, hidden underneath the bed. These she consumed with great alacrity.

Then self sat back and watched TV: a History channel program on the assassination of President Lincoln. And she discovered many many fascinating things, such as:

    The man who shot John Wilkes Booth was a “religious zealot” who had castrated himself as punishment for entertaining impure thoughts about a prostitute (eeeuuuuw!)
    Man was such a crack shot that bullet entered between the third and fourth vertebra and severed Booth’s spinal cord and he lay on the ground in excruciating pain for three hours until he asked his arms to be raised and muttered, “Useless, useless,” whereupon he expired.
    Several of the remaining conspirators, including a woman, were hanged. One of the conspirators was guilty of nothing more than finding someone to hold John Wilkes Booth’s horse while he was inside the theatre.

It was extremely edifying to learn all this information, dear blog reader. Now, self is watching “Scrubs.” Self and niece were discussing Mandy Moore a few days ago, and self opined that Zach Braff had nerve to dump one of the prettiest girls in Hollywood. And niece said that Ms. Moore was a terrible actress and that Mr. Braff was so much more famous than she. Which was news to self, you see. Self had never actually watched “Scrubs” before, but now she is watching and it is actually quite funny: the opening scene of this particular episode showed Mr. Braff wandering down a hospital corridor in extreme state of dopiness from not having slept (Self can sympathize).

It was pouring rain last night: there were even rolls of thunder, which the dogs were so unaccustomed to that they both got up and listened with their ears cocked.

Why, God, why?

Self passed by Safeway on her way home from class yesterday, and searched for Coricidin, but the only kinds they had were Coricidin for people with high blood pressure. Did dear blog reader know that there are three different kinds of Coricidin for people with high blood pressure? And that there is no Coricidin for normal people? And since self is so leery now of self-medicating, not wishing to end up like Heath, she went home without buying anything. Now, she is self-medicating with many many cans of Coke. She must have gained five pounds already, since this morning.

Stay tuned, dear blog reader, stay tuned.

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2 responses to “Things Self Has Learned Today, While Supine on Couch with (Possibly) the Flu”

  1. Get well soon! Kawawa naman you! And who is taking care of our famous blogger? She has to drive herself to find Coricidin! Where is your yaya? Where is your driver? 😦 Ay! You are in California, not Manila!

    Isn’t it Coricidin-D? (I’m remembering the Manila commercials!).

    Get well soon and stay well!


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