LG Chocolate VX8550 in Blue Mint, How Much Does Self Love Thee?

Because it’s been three years since we last had our cell phones upgraded, self assigned to son the task of choosing a cool new phone from the choices Verizon had available. And son did indeed choose a very cool phone: the LG Chocolate phone in blue mint.

After self had placed the upgrade request, she realized she should have chosen a different color for herself (for she did see “Fracture,” movie starring Ryan Gosling and Anthony Hopkins, in which the solution of the case revolves around Gosling’s young detective having a nirvana moment when a colleague picks up his cell phone by mistake). When self mentioned her anxieties to son, however, he merely said, “But all you need to do is check the contacts list and you’ll know if it’s not your phone.” (Which is why self thinks he would make such a cracker-jack therapist: Heads up, all of you blog readers who may need a psychiatrist in your future. Though, to tell the truth, who has the time to think of such? Self means, when she is in a rush — as she usually is — and running out the door, will she think, upon spying LG Chocolate in Dark Blue: “Uh-oh, better check the contacts list, in case this is son’s phone, not mine?” If it happens to be one of the times when son is visiting, that is?)

Anyhoo, son did allay self’s fears somewhat, and now the phone is here. And self has been going nuts the past few days, wondering why it insists on going Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz whenever she makes an outgoing call (and makes her think someone is calling in, which causes her to become extremely nervous; in fact, she nearly dropped the phone several times).

First of all, self can’t figure out where the jack for re-charging this phone is. There are so many ports on the side! Once, self thought she had succeeded in identifying the right port, but when she tried jamming in the re-charging plug, it just would not fit. So self began using the phone only half-powered up. And now, reading the manual, she reads (on p. 5):

It’s important to fully charge the battery before turning on your wireless device.


Next, the instructions say:

Make sure the phone is turned on.

Self manages to do this quite handily. Reading further:

If not, press the PWR button.


Then, press the SEND key.

Geez! The person who wrote the manual must think self is an idiot! (But, I digress)

Next, self must learn how to receive calls:

When the phone rings or vibrates, answer the call by pressing the OK key twice.

Oh, so that’s why self has never been able to answer calls — one must press the OK key twice and she has only been pressing once. Mystery solved!

She still doesn’t know how to re-charge this phone, but this evening she has learned the following fascinating things:

    It is possible to assign a different ringtone to each entry in one’s contact list.
    One can play and/ or record videos on one’s cell phone.
    When a voice mail is left for you on your office phone, you can arrange to have a TXT alert sent to your cell phone.
    There is such a thing as Radio Frequency Emissions (RFE) which may lead to “health problems” if they exceed a certain limit.

And now self finds that she needs to have 100% concentration to read the rest of the instructions.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers, stay tuned.

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One response to “LG Chocolate VX8550 in Blue Mint, How Much Does Self Love Thee?”

  1. I loved your review. I had exactly the same reaction. In addition to my idiot status demonstrated by the manual, I had to call Verizon to discover which buttons to push to handle call-waiting. While I had learned much about purchasing movies from Verizon to download to my phone, I found nothing in the manuals on how to use the phone features.


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