Brain Cloud, Third Sunday of November 2007: Considering “Beowulf”, Shredding Files, and Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones

Well, today self did not get to see No Country For Old Men, dear blog readers. Which is just as well, for self picks up Friday’s edition of The New York Times and A. O. Scott, in the course of reviewing Margot at the Wedding, says: “If you are interested in gore and gunplay, you can seek out Saw IV or No Country For Old Men.”

Which is not to say that we did not come close, mighty close to watching a movie today. After partaking of chorizo con huevos at neighborhood La Azteca, hubby and self went to downtown movie theatre. We noticed a small crowd standing in front of it. Theatre, as it happened, was closed.

“What time is it?” hubby asked self.

And self checked her watch and said that it was 11 AM. And just then a man stuck his head out the theatre door and said the theatre would open in “just a minute.”

At which point hubby walked straight up to the glass doors and peered inside.

And self said, “The man said they’d open in just a minute.”

And hubby said, with supreme exasperation: “I know, but I’m trying to see what movies are showing.”

Oh.

Beowulf was showing on two screens. But self told hubby that she had read on Buzzsugar.com that one shouldn’t even try to see it unless one could watch it in 3-D. Otherwise, one would simply be missing the whole magnificence of it.

And hubby inquired where we could obtain the 3-D glasses.

And self said they would probably hand them out at the theatre, but she wasn’t sure.

At which point hubby said he’d changed his mind, he’d rather go home and garden. Besides, he said, son would probably want to see that when he came up, and it would be good to see it with him.

Anyhoo, after getting home, self found herself seized with unaccustomed energy and resolved to clean up her file cabinet. She then busied herself shredding every piece of paper in her files that was more than 10 years old. Which process took her over an hour. All she saved, out of a drawerful of files, were a few receipts for Toys R Us, December 1990 (ha ha ha ha ha!). In fact, she shredded so many files that several times paper shredder made terrible groaning sound, which sounded exactly like a cow moo-ing. And hubby would yell from the bedroom, where he was once again looking up football stats, “What are you doing to the paper shredder???” And self would say, “Oh nothing, it’s just jammed, is all. I’ll have it working again in a jiffy.” Well, self did not actually say “in a jiffy,” that’s so very Hugh Grant of her, but she said something else to that effect.

And then, she started watching TBS.com, which showed, first, Jerry Maguire, and then Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. So, self surmised it must be a Renee Zellweger retrospective of some sort. Self had read somewhere that Bridget Jones II was just terrible, a humiliation for Renee, but watching it now, self thinks Renee is hilarious, simply hilarious! And Colin Firth is not bad, either (Has the man had hair implants? — Self seems to remember him having distinctly less hair in A & E’s Pride and Prejudice) Self remembers one reviewer saying why in God’s name did the director have to make his star humiliate herself by showing her fat butt parachuting out of an airplane or a helicopter or whatever, so when that scene came on, self found herself waiting for the humiliation, and instead she found herself laughing so hard, she nearly fell off the sofa. So there, smug reviewer for xxxx magazine!

And now, back to shredding. Stay tuned, dear blog reader, stay tuned.

Brain Cloud, Third Saturday of November 2007: Out and About in Redwood City and Various Places

The phone was silent. Self meandered all over Redwood City and environs. These were the places self went to yesterday:

    Safeway to buy the New York Times (It was Saturday but the store had only copies of Friday’s)
    Redwood City Downtown Library to borrow Anne Tyler’s The Amateur Marriage (Self on something of an Anne Tyler kick — of the books on her desk waiting to be read, three are by this writer)
    The dog groomer’s (Gracie as usual pulling back on her leash so that groomer has to drag her across the linoleum floor like a sack of potatoes; she does this every time, even though we have been taking her to the same groomer for almost four years)
    Peet’s in Downtown RWC, where hubby had peppermint mocha and self had eggnog freddo. Afterwards, bearing our drinks, we did what we always do: crossed the street and browsed among the knick-knacks in Gourmet Haus Staudt Gifts & Cafe.
    Honeybaked Ham store in Belmont, the one on El Camino right after Ralston, to buy a 7-lb. ham and three condiments (pineapple chutney, cranberry chutney, and corn relish). On the way there, passed Davy Glen Road and mused on the time self’s aunt lived at the very top of said road, in a beautiful split-level with a swimming pool. Then self’s uncle got cancer, everything went to hell in a hand basket, the house was sold and the family moved to a small-ish house in Redwood Shores, where self’s uncle eventually passed away.
    Walgreen’s, to get Tylenol PM (While there, observed that a diverse array of women, teen-agers as well as senior citizens, were carefully examining the Neutrogena display. When self walked over to see what all the fuss was about, she found: lip plumpers, lip gloss, face powders, blushes, mascara)
    Safeway again, because self forgot that we had run out of paper towels

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