News of the Day (3rd Thursday of May 2013)

Self got another rejection, this from The Collagist.

Did she ever share with dear blog readers that Manila Noir got a REALLY good review from Publishers Weekly?  Yay!  Big, big shout-out to Jessica Hagedorn, for doing such a smart job with the anthology (and La Hagedorn has a new story in it, too)

She bought a greeting card (with dolphins on the front) to give to son on Saturday, after his graduation ceremony at Claremont.

In honor of the occasion, today self delivered The Ancient One to the pet hospital, where she will board for the weekend.  Self drove so slowly that at least two SUVs honked her.  But never mind!  The Ancient One has a tendency to car-sickness.  She kinda let her bladder go all over self’s jeans (the only pair of jeans self has left, because four were in the suitcase that got stolen in Venice) when self was carrying her down.  Despite smelling like pee, self made herself wander the San Carlos Farmers Market.  This you can do in America:  she’d never dare wander Bacolod smelling like pee, but here no one gives a hoot.  It’s so much less stressful.

Because self and The Man have junkers for cars, every time we go south, we must rent.  And this time, self decided to splurge a little, because she rented a Prius.  And Holy Cow!  She’s never driven a car that didn’t have an ignition.  Only a wee button to press.  Plus, there was so much unfamiliar electrical whirring going on, every time she did something (like switch from “Park” to “Reverse” mode) that self felt like she was operating from inside a battery.  It was so much fun renting this car, because self was in the wrong line.  She picked the shortest line, and only after she got to the front did she learn that she had been in the line reserved for “Executive Members of the Fastbreak Club,” whatever that means.  But never mind.  Rather than send her to the back of another line, the busy rep actually made the time to get self a nice car, and she even confided to self that she, too, had a birthday in July.  “Which makes you a Cancer,” self said.  “My husband’s an Aquarius.  They’re supposed to be very incompatible with Cancer.”  The sales rep said, “My husband’s a Pisces.  Is that compatible with Cancer?”  “Yes,” self asserted.  “Pisces and Cancer go together like white on rice.” (Lordy, just see how self rattles on!)

Anyhoo, The Man is very excited that we will be on Highway 5.  Because it passes Coalinga.  And in Coalinga there are humongous ranches, including Harris Ranch.  Which means steak restaurants.  And that’s all he’s been talking about for days.

Today, self was in the Chef Shop in San Carlos and she saw so many fancy kitchen implements.  Since son and his girlfriend are moving in together, self decided to give son a call and ask him if he already had a rice cooker.  He said he did.  So self was quite at a loss for what to get him.  She decided to control her impulse to shop, and walked out of the store with only a ceramic butter dish.  Pats on the back, self!

Stay tuned.

1st Sunday of May (2013)

Blustery winds.  Even, rain.

Watching “Arbitrage.”  That Richard Gere is so smooth.  Self can see why the lovely French mistress is so besotted.  Unfortunately, things do not remain ducky for long, they never do in a thriller. Who wrote this smart screenplay?  Self looks up the information on IMDB.  Oh, the movie was written and directed by a twenty-five-year-old named Nicholas Jarecki.  Imagine that, dear blog readers.  A twenty-five-year-old.  And he not only wrote the screenplay, he directed it.  Way to go, NJ!

Self went to the Menlo Park Farmers Market and bought cherries and nectarines.  When she got home, The Man was gone.  She thought he had taken The Ancient One for a walk, as Bella was not in her customary nest in the kitchen.  But then she heard a noise in the backyard and when she opened the back door, there was Bella!  Wandering forlornly back and forth on the deck!  Oh, come in, sweetie!  Come in!  Self cannot believe this creature is still ambulatory!  She is turning 18 this September!

Then, shortly, The Man walked in.  Turned out he had gone to the Mexican market and bought five lbs. of tripe:  the regular one we usually get, and a thicker kind that he said he wanted to try out.

Pretty soon, this was what was simmering on the stove:

Callos with two kinds of tripe:  a specialty of The Man

Callos with two kinds of tripe: a specialty of The Man

The full name of the dish is Callos Madrileña.  It uses tomato sauce, chickpeas, and chorizo de Bilbao.

Step # 1 is boiling and boiling and boiling.  Step # 2 is this:

DSCN0010

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Still Reading Pham Thi Hoai’s “Nine Down Makes Ten,” Begun Two Weeks Ago

Will self’s life never settle down?  Will she ever be able to curb the impulse to travel?  Or will she continue in this comical way, never being at peace for, as her Tita Ateta Gana, a very wise woman, once prophetically said after listening to self tell a hair-rising story about delivering Sole Fruit of Her Loins in Stanford Hospital, after 17 hours of labor:  “Everything happens to Batchoy.”  She didn’t know how prophetic she was!

Will she be able to get through 200 pages of Don Quijote tomorrow, in order to avoid her overdue fine getting any bigger?

Is she really planning to take Henry James’s The Portrait of a Lady with her to Venice, in hardcover, even though it takes up approximately 1/4 of her suitcase?

Is it good not to worry about clothes when one is traveling?

Will $150 worth of pain medication be all that Bella The Ancient One needs to survive the next two weeks?

Can self make it to Trieste?

Can she sit 13 hours in an airplane, in an economy seat, without her neck absolutely killing her?

Will she ever be able to finish anything she starts?

Two weeks ago, she began reading Vietnamese writer Pham Thi Hoai’s story in Another Kind of Paradise:  Short Stories From the New Asia-Pacific, edited by Trevor Carolan.  My, that story had her in stitches!  She was absolutely entranced.

It is written in very dense paragraphs (translated from the Vietnamese by Peter Zinoman), but the tone is wicked sly.  It’s about an unnamed woman’s various lovers.  Self reads about Lover # 8:

The eighth man had the hair of a poet, the face of a poet, and a soul especially given over to poetry.  Such qualities are found only in people who have a lot of time and no concrete obligations in life.  When engrossed in the rising and falling of his watery waves, and once acquainted with his passionate love of writing –  swiftly, without semicolons — I began to understand that the most worthwhile obsession is an obsession that is actually independent of the object of fixation.  The object is only borrowed as a pretext, a means, an environment, through which or in which the obsessed person can project his own eternal and essential hunger, thus fulfilling the requirements of death — the dissolution of the ego for something, anything, that exists independently outside of one’s self.  Perhaps that obsession should be controlled.  At some point the most mundane catalyst, a skirt or a fallen leaf, is enough to provoke a series of captivating chain reactions, while at another time much more important objects will inspire only an absurd indifference.

Here, by the way, are a list of things that have remained constant in her life:

  • Her undying commitment to Apple, especially her MacBook Air
  • Her love of blogging, and her corresponding need for the internet.  Dear Cuz Maitoni once aked self:  “Must you always take it upon yourself to entertain the whole world?”  That is such a very pertinent question, Dear Cuz!  Self knows not why.  On this question, she is drawing an absolute blank.
  • Her conviction that she is absolutely made to travel: no matter how unsure she is about her cooking, or her housecleaning, or even the value of her writing, she has only to plan a trip when  –  VOILA! — happiness and confidence descend, and she can brave anything, even the worst bad hair days.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

1st Wednesday of April (2013)

Self had just pulled herself together enough to revise two very short stories (1,500 words each) and send them out, and seat herself in front of the TV in the living room to watch “Bones” while having her lunch (It is 3:21 pm, that is how busy she was today), when she decided to check her e-mail (which she does almost every hour), and there was already a rejection for one of the short stories she’d sent out today.  Honestly:  this was the fastest rejection ever.  Faster even than anderbo.com!  She hopes they’re still considering the other story (They allow two stories per submission.  Don’t ask self to name the magazine:  self has decided that discretion is the better part of valor.)

Then she decided to –  Holy Cow!  This rice that she is having with her stir-fried boneless chicken thigh fillets is absolutely yummy!  It’s the first time she’s tried this Elephant Brand Thai rice (from Marina Foods in Hillsdale:  she would have preferred to drive across the bridge to Island Pacific in Union City, but has been feeling quite pressed for time) and does it ever go well with stir-fried chicken!  Especially with stir-fried chicken in Hoisin sauce!

Her eye wanders over to the TV and –  Wow!  Cute shirt the African American supervisor is wearing!  Lime green, with beaded keyhole neckline!

Back to self’s lunch.  She is washing all down with a bottle of beer.  And –  Holy Cow!  This is absolutely a fantastic beer!  Self peruses the label:  California Lager, Anchor beer, founded 1896.  She wonders if this is from Trader Joe’s, or from Draegers.  It’s definitely not Safeway or Whole Foods.

It has turned into a very hot day.  Self knows she needs to water.

Sweet-smelling Bella is wiped out from the exertion of climbing the kitchen stairs in the heat.  She’s on the kitchen floor, because the linoleum feels cool. (Self is tempted to carry The Ancient One here, there and everywhere, but is realizing that The Man’s insistence on making the poor li’l crit walk as much as possible is why Bella, at 17 1/2, is still ambulatory.)

And –  Self!  What are you doing!  You have just downed your third serving of Thai rice with chicken fillets stir-fried with green onions and Hoisin!  Aaach, aaach, she can’t help it, the rice and the stir-fried chicken and the hoisin sauce and the beer are such a perfect combination.  Not only that, self must be allowed to drown her sorrows regarding last night’s Justified season finale.  When might Season 5 be occurring, self wonders?

She finally got to the last page of the San Francisco Chronicle of precisely one week ago.  The bottom of the last page is the Dear Abby section.  Here is one of the letters:

Dear Abby,

I am a plus-size woman.  I am loud and boisterous, and I like to surround myself with similar women.  However, there is a problem I am now facing.

Many of my friends have made amazing transformations and gotten fit.  I am fully supportive and impressed, but I see the price they are paying.  They are no longer confident and vivacious.  They have become timid, approval-seeking shells of their previous selves.

Why do newly thin women forget how awesome their personalities used to be?

–  Big Beauty in Illinois

*     *     *     *

Dear Big Beauty:

Not knowing your friends, I can’t answer for them.  But it is possible that having become “transformed and fit,” they no longer feel they need their loud and boisterous personas to compete for attention.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Blooming Today (First Tuesday of April 2013)

It was a bee-yoo-ti-ful day!

The man had jury duty.  In the afternoon, he mowed and watered.

Self successfully bundled The Ancient One into her car, made it to Petco, and wheedled the young girl there into giving Bella an extra-fragrant shampoo and blow-dry. Self sat on a chair and waited until she was done. So relaxing! It was worth it, especially to have Bella smelling so good, after such a long time!

Then she was able to return home and gaze with extreme happiness at her garden:

Powder-Blue Crested Iris:  Self thinks she's in love!

Powder-Blue Crested Iris: Self thinks she’s in love!

The Polka started blooming yesterday!

The Polka started blooming yesterday!

More and more of those blue irises are coming up.  Happy happy joy joy!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

The Moon Again (Last Tuesday of March 2013)

Self is in the tiny room at the back of her house, the one with French windows, through which she can see the moon.  It is almost exactly the same as it was last night:  that is, it is round.  It is white.  There are clouds around it.  It looks scary.  Like a Vampire Moon. But let’s not think of that now.  Only 10 more minutes until Justified!

To pass the time, she is reading Don Quijote.  It is very (needless to say) entertaining.  Even, hilarious.

In the passage self reads, Don Quijote and his faithful servant, Sancho Panza, present at an inn, both covered in bruises, though they insist on maintaining that their injuries were the result of a fall:

“They weren’t blows,” said Sancho (to the innkeeper’s skeptical wife), “but there were a lot of sharp and bumpy places on that rock . . . “

“I didn’t fall,” said Sancho Panza, “but seeing the somersault my master took, it made me hurt all over, and I felt as if I’d been given a thousand blows.”

“That really could be,” said the damsel, “because it’s often happened to me that I dream I’m falling off a tower, but I never reach the ground, and yet when I wake up I’m as weak and breathless as if I’d really fallen.”

What else happened to self today?

Oh yes:  carried Bella The Ancient One in and out, three times.  Bella whined piteously, wanting something, not water, even with self sitting right beside her on the grass.  Pant, pant, pant.  It pains self to listen to her.  “Bella!” self calls.  “Bella!  Bella!  Bella!”

Can she be in pain?  No, her eyes don’t have that clouded look.

Bella and self will just have to endure it, this chasm of understanding between them.  This mystery.

Stay tuned.

Happy New Year! A Walk Around the Neighborhood with The Ancient One

Interesting Sidewalk Detail

Interesting Sidewalk Detail

The Ancient One Loves a Walk, Especially in the Sunshine!

The Ancient One Loves a Walk, Especially in the Sunshine!

We let her stop and smell anything she wants, because we know we do not have much longer to spend with her (As self never tires of pointing out, she is 17 yrs old).

We let her stop and smell anything she wants, because we know we do not have much longer to spend with her (As self never tires of pointing out, she is 17 yrs old).

The magnolia trees in our neighbors' yards are starting to bloom.

The magnolia trees in our neighbors’ yards are starting to bloom.

And now we are off to catch the Rose Bowl at Dutch Goose on Alameda, along with other excitable Stanford alums.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Personal Library 7

Bella whines, whines, whines.  Self ignores her.  There’s a swimming pool of piss on the kitchen floor.  Self spread newspapers over it, a trick The Man showed her when she got back from her most recent trip to Bacolod.  If you cover the piss with newspapers, the newspapers absorb the piss, and in a few hours, the floor is dry and back to the previous state.  Most important, the pee smell disappears.  What a genius The Man is!

Self is perched on the couch, and the TV is tuned to Syfy.  Self loves the Syfy channel, even when it’s being crappy.  Right now, the show is “Stonehenge:  Apocalypse.”  Self thinks that’s a pretty fab title and wishes she had thought of it first.  Well, she does have a story called “Stonehenge/Pacifica” but that one’s not science fiction.  If dear blog readers want to know the kind of story that is, kindly proceed to Wigleaf, January 2012.

Yesterday, The Man and self had this strange conversation:

The Man:  What shall I do for my lunch tomorrow?

Self:  You don’t have to worry about that until Monday.

The Man:  But I have office tomorrow.

Self:  You mean they asked you to come in ON A SATURDAY?

The Man:  Tomorrow’s Friday.

Self:  No, today‘s Friday.

The Man:  No, today’s Thursday.

And it turned out The Man was absolutely right.  OMG!   Self better stop taking those pain pills the dentist prescribed for her!  Onward!

Self was going to stop tabulating her books, but then she got an exciting comment from Kyi.  So she will proceed.

Self is on shelf # 2 in a bookcase in the dining room:  52 books

52 + 211 = 263 total # of books tabulated so far

This shelf includes:  Poeta en San Francisco, by Barbara Jane Reyes (signed by the author);  Fiction by Filipinos in America, edited by Cecilia Brainard;  the Peterson Field Guide to Western Birds; Delivered, by Sarah Gambito; Aguinaldo’s Breakfast:  And More Looking Back Essays, by Ambeth R. Ocampo; Field of Mirrors:  An Anthology of Philippine American Writers, edited by Edwin A. Lozada;  Malgudi Days, by R. K. Narayan (the Penguin Classics Edition); Blacker Than a Thousand Midnights, by Susan Straight;  The History of San Isidro (Nueva Ecija) Told and Retold, by Leonila C. Gonzales (San Isidro is where The Man’s Lolo was from); Thousand Pieces of Gold, by Ruthanne Lum McCunn;  The Collected Stories of Isaac Bashevis SingerHer Wild American Self, by M. Evelina Galang; The Peppered Moth, by Margaret Drabble; Smilla’s Sense of Snow, by Peter Hoeg (the first, the progenitor, the one that started the long run of Scandinavian-Mystery-Writers-in-Translation:  Hoeg’s translator was Tina Nunnally);  Old Glory:  An American Voyage, by Jonathan Raban (a classic, the one that started self’s many decades-long fascination with travel books)

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

NYTBR, 21 October 2012

Oh what to do, what to do?  Today self is running around completely like a chicken without a head!

First, she had to call Petco 3x to connect with a groomer (to bring The Ancient One to have her nails clipped–  The Man of course did not have the time while self was in Bacolod.  He did enough:  at least The Ancient One was still alive when self arrived home.  Still alive, and still kicking!  Still able to recognize self and wag her tail!)

Where are all the Christmas decorations self put up last year?  She swears she had boxes and boxes.  But when she hunts around in the garage, she only finds two, filled with tacky plastic poinsettias.

Never mind!  She is busily engaged with stringing the almost bare trees with fake holly and fake poinsettia.  She would have had real holly if the gardener she used, about seven years ago, hadn’t chopped down one of the gigantic holly trees in her backyard.  By accident, the woman said.  How does one cut down a full grown tree by accident?  Well, to tell you the truth, self hated that tree because it was so tall and blocked out the sun and she could never grow flowers.  When The Man came home, however, he was so beside himself he wouldn’t speak (to anyone) for months!

The remaining holly tree remained tall and proud, right in the middle of the backyard, but stopped producing red berries.  It just stayed green all year long.  Finally, self consulted an arborist who told her that hollies need to be fertilized in order to produce berries.  That is, one needs to have both a male and female, in close proximity.  Aaaach!  So the tree that got cut was the mate of the remaining holly tree, and now self is punished forevermore by never having any more holly berries.

Self is also going back and forth between a novel, the Ruth Rendell mystery she began yesterday (The Monster in the Box –  absolutely gripping so far, though self must admit she hasn’t gotten very far, maybe just 10 pages in), the reviews from the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times Book Review of 21 October 2012.  She was going to blog about the books reviewed in the Wall Street Journal, but she happened to leave the WSJ in the living room, and now she’s posting from her desk, and the New York Times Book Review is conveniently already next to her MacMini, so she might as well go ahead with that.  Luckily, there are many interesting reviews in this issue.

Now then!  Self will just go ahead and list ALL the books she’d like to read, never mind who or what review prompted the decision, OK?  Time is of the essence!  It takes self an hour just to get The Ancient One from the front door to her car!  Plus another hour for the way back!  And she still hasn’t decided what to cook for dinner!

Okay, okay, self will concede that a bunch of the following books are from the “By the Book” interview with David Mitchell (who self has never even read:  She’ll get to Cloud Atlas in maybe 10 years –  if she’s still alive)

  • Silence, by Shusako Endo (Self read this in college, but this is a book that is certainly worth re-visiting)
  • The Makioka Sisters, by Junichiro Tanizaki (There is a fabulous film adaptation)
  • One Man’s Justice, by Akira Yoshimura
  • Grass for My Pillow, by Saiichi Maruya
  • The Doctor’s Wife, by Sawako Ariyoshi
  • all the novels of Simon Lelic
  • Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, by Haruki Murakami (which self remembers reading, and feeling lukewarm about.  She will give the book another go)
  • The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood (Another book she wants to re-visit)
  • The Road, by Cormac McCarthy (She saw the movie, with Viggo Mortensen.  Accch!  Super-dark.  But self is not afraid)
  • Purpose, a memoir by Wyclef Jean with Anthony Bozza (A memoir by Wyclef Jean???  Need one say more?  The reviewer believes in tackling this memoir as a first, he calls it “a gem.” Self, run, don’t walk, to your nearest bookstore!)
  • No Easy Day:  The Autobiography of a Navy SEAL, by Mark Owen (whose real name is Matt Bissonnette –  Self is not giving anything away here.  His real name is used in the review, as well as in reviews she’s read elsewhere, including in the Wall Street Journal)
  • Tibet Wild:  A Naturalist’s Journeys on the Roof of the World, by George Schaller (Just as self would read anything written by Wyclef Jean, she would read anything written by George Schaller.  But to dear blog readers who may not know who George Schaller is –  never mind the explanation, take self’s word for it, he is one of the last great scientist-adventurer-writers.  No dilettante he, he has spent “months almost every year” for the past 30 years in the Chang Tang Highlands of the Tibetan plateau, a place where, as reviewer Constance Casey reminds us, “Getting your boots muddy here can mean frozen toes.”)
  • Phantom, Jo Nesbo’s latest crime novel
  • Salvation of a Saint, by Keigo Higashino, in a translation by Alexander O. Smith with Elye Alexander
  • Goodbye for Now, Laurie Frankel’s second novel
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Frankel’s first
  • Some Kind of Fairy Tale, by Graham Joyce
  • Self-Made Man:  One Woman’s Year Disguised as a Man, by Norah Vincent
  • Infrared, the latest novel by Nancy Huston

Gadzooks!  So many books, so little time!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Stream-of-Consciousness, Monday Before Thanksgiving (2012)

Costco!  Listerine Discount Coupon!  Turkey!  No Turkey!  Pumpkin Pie!  No Pumpkin Pie!  Glendale for two days? No Glendale for two days!  Son for Christmas!  NOT!  Pumpkin Pie!  No Pumpkin Pie!  Whole Foods Pumpkin Pie!  No, Pamplemousse Pumpkin-spiced Sponge Cake!  No, Pamplemousse Caramel Streusel Apple Tart!  Tree: real or fake? $200 for fake? That’s it: No tree!

Calls:  Margarita!  Irene in L.A.!  Venice!  March!  Floods!  Credit Card!  Venice!  No, Bacolod!  But, no handguns!  Girl, the black eye!  Remember the black eye?  Somnambulism!  Insomnia!  Black Eye!  Bacolod!  Champagne!  Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider!  Honeybaked Ham!  Marylee!  Turkey Day!  Merwin’s Poem About Airports!  Ingrid Wendt!  Venice!  Philadelphia!  Margarita again!

Lawyer!  No, no lawyer!  Enough with lawyers!  Think:  Family!  Think:  Good Thoughts!  No Lawyer means more money!  More money in the bank!  More money for Venice in 2013! And more money for pumpkin pie! And greeting cards!

And again, questions! So many questions!

    Why is there a big black umbrella in the trunk of self’s car? Who put it there, and when?
    Whose brass key is that in the trunk, nestled beneath the big, black umbrella? To what drawer or safe does this key belong?
    And why is Bella The Ancient One still content to live, when we give her no particular care, other than to wipe up her pee and administer twice a day Glucosamine and pain medication?

Nevertheless

    , isn’t it ungrateful (nay, even

un-Amerian

    to say that, when Bella has provided our family with so many years of unstinting and unquestioning devotion?

W. S. Merwin’s poem in the October 15, 2012 New Yorker (Self is mindful of the fact that the trunk of her car is still full of totally unnecessary purchases from Costco, all waiting to be off-loaded as soon as self finishes this post, but anyhoo) is such a hoot  Here’s the first half!

Neither Here Nor There

An airport is nowhere
which is not something
generally noticed

yet some unnamed person in the past
deliberately planned it
to be there

and you have spent time there
again
and are spending time there again

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

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