Words: Hurstwood

Sister Carrie, p. 111:

Hurstwood, to Carrie (Carrie’s been introduced to him by an acquaintance, Drouet.  Drouet introduced Carrie to Hurstwood as “Mrs. Drouet.”  Nevertheless, Hurstwood soon discerns that Mrs. Drouet spends much time alone.  And he has also seen Drouet in the company of other women.  When the opportunity arises, Hurstwood tells Carrie the following):  “I am practically alone.  There is nothing in my life that is pleasant or delightful.  It’s all work and worry with people who are nothing to me.”

As he said this, Hurstwood really imagined that his state was pitiful.  He had the ability to get off at a distance and view himself objectively –  of seeing what he wanted to see in the things which made up his existence.  Now, as he spoke, his voice trembled with that peculiar vibration which is the result of tensity . . .

How interesting, self thinks.  Hurstwood wants Carrie to love him.  At the same time, he’s telling himself the story of –  himself as an unloved man.  It’s self-pity, but he doesn’t know that.  In the meantime, Carrie, who is very young, just 18, is stunned but basks “in the warmth of his feeling.” What, she wonders are her own hesitations worth when measured against the needs of this man Hurstwood, who “glowed with his own intensity”?

Further:  “You think,” he said, “I am happy; that I ought not to complain?  If you were to meet all day with people who care absolutely nothing about you, if you went day after day to a place where there was nothing but show and indifference, if there was not one person in all those you knew to whom you could appeal for sympathy or talk to with pleasure, perhaps you would be unhappy too.”

Let’s skip the rest, as we already know where that is going.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting 4

San Francisco, about two weeks ago. She drove to the City to find a reading. She found the place. She was blocks away, but she could see how the street went perpendicular, at precisely the block where the reading was to take place.

Self tried to find parking in the surrounding streets. None. If she had been more familiar with the neighborhood, she might have not given up so easily. Afterwards, when she sent her apologies to Allison Amend, the writer whose reading she missed, Allison chided her with: There was a parking garage a block away. It was on the directions on the evite.

!!!!!

Anyhoo, self did manage to get off a shot of this San Francisco street corner, early evening in late spring:

Trying to find the freeway on-ramp, circled this same block endlessly

Trying to find the freeway on-ramp, circled this same block endlessly

Stay tuned, dear blog readers. Stay tuned.

MANILA NOIR: “Satan Has Already Bought U” by Lourd De Veyra

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“Do you know what shabu means?  Did you know that each letter means something?” Cesar asked, pressing a clean sheet of aluminum foil between two one-peso coins.

“You mean an acronym,” Franco replied, a dull glint of the strip cruising his vision.

“A what?”

“An acronym.  That’s what you’re trying to say.  Each letter stands for a word.  Like PBA.  Philippine Basketball Association.  Or NBA . . . “

“I get it.  Exactly.  An acronym.  So . . . you know what shabu means?”

“I didn’t know it meant anything.”

“Satan Has Already Bought You.”

*    *     *     *

The gossip in Bacolod.  So-and-so had a shabu addiction.

Self:  “How can he be hooked on shabu, he doesn’t make any money.  Don’t you need a lot of money to get shabu?”

Self remembers how her cousin Manong Genray scoffed:  “Even ‘sikab‘ drivers get hooked on shabu.”

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Sikab is a bastardization of the words “Tricycle” and “Cab.”  You can take one of these, 5 pesos (11 US cents) a ride.  Cheaper even than riding a jeepney, which is 8 pesos (19 US cents).

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Anticipatory: Sunday Night, Game of Thrones Viewing Par-tay!

Tomorrow is Game of Thrones‘ Season 3 penultimate episode.  In an exact replay of what happened in Chino when self and The Man drove down for Son’s graduation ceremony at Claremont, two weeks ago, self issued this dire warning to all in the immediate vicinity (and that includes The Ancient One):  “I will not –  repeat NOT — be able to do anything Sunday night, starting 9 p.m.  Have to watch Game of Thrones.”

This morning, son said casually, “Finnessy likes Game of Thrones, too!”

Oh yeah?  What a surprise!  Honestly, self never imagined another person liked Game of Thrones as much as she!

“So, he’s gonna come over and watch it here.”

For reals?  Oh, sure, Sole Fruit of Her Loins!  As Finnessy is a musician, he may be able to add a certain je ne se quois to the viewing!

“And Kevin might come, too!  So could we have some barbecue?”

!!!

“Sure,” self said, perky as all get-out.  “I’ll just start marinating some chicken thighs . . . “

So, this is why self is so, so busy this evening, assembling:

  • rib-eye steaks
  • her famous steak marinade (has 15+ ingredients and the only way to blend them together is to put in a BLENDER, Duh!)
  • chicken thighs (need to marinate)
  • fresh corn (stripping and cleaning)
  • a humongous pot of rice

Also, The Man bought Corona beer, a case of Coke . . .

Everything must be pre-assembled because — no way can self be preparing anything between 9 and 10 p.m. tomorrow.  No, make that:  8 p.m. to 10 p.m. tomorrow.  Just to make double sure she is not distracted or tired or what-have-you.  Her full attention must be focused on the screen!

Yours truly in anticipation,

Self.

John Updike By Way of NYTBR 12 May 2013

“America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.”  –  John Updike

Self pondered this.  She felt like adding, Yeah, spoken like a man with money.  Spoken like a man with a job.

But then she remembered:  This is America!  You don’t need money!  You just need a credit card!  And if you go broke, you can just declare bankruptcy, and then rise, Phoenix-like, from the flames!

She had uncles and aunts who did this all the time.  Repossessed Jaguars and Mercedes Benzes were all over their credit records.  But that never seemed to stop them from getting loans for new Jaguars, new Benzes.

She’ll never forget the saleswoman in the glass store in The Venetian (Las Vegas).  Browsing, self saw the most fabulous amber-colored drop earrings.  She didn’t have enough cash, so she asked the saleswoman, “Do you take Discover?”

“Honey,” the woman said.  “This is Las Vegas.  We take American Express, Mastercard, Visa, Discover, Diner’s Club, check, post-dated check, you name it!”

Sold!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge: In the Background 5

Sticking close to home:

The Living Room Picture Window on a Hot Afternoon in late May

The Living Room Picture Window on a Hot Afternoon in Late May

Lately, The Man has taken to asking:  What.Are.You.Taking.A.Picture.Of.Now ???

LOL.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

GAME OF THRONES Quotes (You’re Welcome)

Self has undertaken to watch the whole of Game of Thrones Season 3 over again.  This, as dear blog readers well know, is an extremely rewarding activity, especially as she needs to be reminded how it all began:  the Brienne/ Jaime Lannister trek (Highlight of Season 3, in self’s HO), how Catelyn Stark became her son’s prisoner, how Daenarys acquired an army of 8,000 Unsullied, why Lord Tywin loves to cast aspersions on Tyrion, how Arya came to be traveling with Gendry and Hot Pie, and so forth.

Yesterday The Man came home and self inquired if he wanted to watch Episode 7, which he missed.  Sure! he said.  That, for dear blog readers who know nothing (like Jon Snow, channeling Ygritte), is called “The Bear and the Maiden Fair.”  So we sat and watched it together, and self got to see Stumpy for the first time since the Maester Who Is No Maester, Qyburn (She quite loves that gruesome scar around his neck) poured boiling wine over it.  And Stumpy looks just like the Giant Worm in Tremors, which is a very very old horror movie.  And you know it’s old because it’s the last time Kevin Bacon was funny.  Truly.

Anyhoo, The Man remarked, nosy as ever:  Wow, you’ve been watching a LOT of Game of Thrones? (And who asked him to comment, pray tell?  Who asked him to go through all the “Saved Searches” on the Comcast On-Demand channel?)

Last weekend, self was so excited to discover that Sole Fruit of Her Loins had read all the books.

Anyhoo, the first Game of Thrones quote self will post today is actually NOT a quote from Game of Thrones, it’s a quote from Son.  Without further ado, GOT Quote # 1:

Put those claws back in those paws, You Damn Bear!

Self promised son she would put that on her blog.  And now that she’s done it, she has such a sense of accomplishment!

GOT Quote # 2:

Lady Olenna Tyrell (a fabulous Diana Rigg):  The cheese will be served when I WANT it to be served, and I want it served NOW!

GOT Quote # 3:

Margaery to Joffrey, in the most intimate tete-a-tete imaginable, in Joffrey’s bedchamber, holding his favorite weapon:  I imagine it must be so exciting to put your hand over here and watch something die over there.

And since The Man will be home imminently to share with self the latest tale of horrors from the office, Arrivederci.

Weekly WordPress Photo Challenge: Escape 5

All right, all right, dear blog readers!  Self knows she is really pushing it with all these “Escape” photos!  But of course it’s because, having just returned from a period in Venice, she has tons of pictures!  Tons!  She took 100+ photos a day!  Lucky she downloaded most of them to her laptop before her camera disappeared with her luggage (from the vaporetto stop at San Toma’ — BWAH HA HAAAA!).  And there’s only so much she can post about “Game of Thrones” and Jaime and Brienne without sounding ridiculous!

Map Next to the Vaporetto Stop in Murano

Map Next to the Vaporetto Stop in Murano

Which brings to mind the conversation she had with a professor who was on the same flight from Venice to Frankfurt.  Self was in a state.  All she had with her was her handcarry and her purse.  She kept mentally running through the contents of her suitcase.  She confided in this very composed woman, precisely because she was so composed.  Also because she was traveling with her 12-year-old daughter.

“Look on the bright side!” the woman said.  “Right now, I’ve just finished grading, and I have 198 students who hate me.”

Self gawked, then stammered:  “Do you really have 198 students who hate you?  Wh — why?”

The woman laughed, and told self a story about how she went to Siem Reap two years ago –  “Really?” self interrupted.  “I’ve been to Siem Reap!”

“And,” the woman continued, “there was a young girl who asked me if she could have my shoes!  That was the first time anyone ever liked my shoes that much!”

“What were they like –  your shoes?” self asked.

“Oh, they were kinda expensive sneakers, and they had glitter,” the woman said.

“But, Mom,” her daughter burst out (She had glasses, thick black-framed glasses, and she was slightly chubby — i.e., this daughter was adorable), “You had to walk back to the car barefoot!”

“And at least you still have your passport,” the woman said.

Self had to admit that was true.

“Because if you didn’t have your passport, they wouldn’t let you on the plane,” the woman continued.  “And you’d have to go to Rome.  There isn’t a U.S. consulate in Venice.”  The woman paused and then said, laughing:  “But on the other hand, you might have appreciated a little time in Rome!”

OMG!  What a conversation!  After that, self wanted to fall on her knees and kiss her U.S. passport!  She couldn’t wait to get on the plane so she could order a glass of champagne!

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

News of the Day (3rd Thursday of May 2013)

Self got another rejection, this from The Collagist.

Did she ever share with dear blog readers that Manila Noir got a REALLY good review from Publishers Weekly?  Yay!  Big, big shout-out to Jessica Hagedorn, for doing such a smart job with the anthology (and La Hagedorn has a new story in it, too)

She bought a greeting card (with dolphins on the front) to give to son on Saturday, after his graduation ceremony at Claremont.

In honor of the occasion, today self delivered The Ancient One to the pet hospital, where she will board for the weekend.  Self drove so slowly that at least two SUVs honked her.  But never mind!  The Ancient One has a tendency to car-sickness.  She kinda let her bladder go all over self’s jeans (the only pair of jeans self has left, because four were in the suitcase that got stolen in Venice) when self was carrying her down.  Despite smelling like pee, self made herself wander the San Carlos Farmers Market.  This you can do in America:  she’d never dare wander Bacolod smelling like pee, but here no one gives a hoot.  It’s so much less stressful.

Because self and The Man have junkers for cars, every time we go south, we must rent.  And this time, self decided to splurge a little, because she rented a Prius.  And Holy Cow!  She’s never driven a car that didn’t have an ignition.  Only a wee button to press.  Plus, there was so much unfamiliar electrical whirring going on, every time she did something (like switch from “Park” to “Reverse” mode) that self felt like she was operating from inside a battery.  It was so much fun renting this car, because self was in the wrong line.  She picked the shortest line, and only after she got to the front did she learn that she had been in the line reserved for “Executive Members of the Fastbreak Club,” whatever that means.  But never mind.  Rather than send her to the back of another line, the busy rep actually made the time to get self a nice car, and she even confided to self that she, too, had a birthday in July.  “Which makes you a Cancer,” self said.  “My husband’s an Aquarius.  They’re supposed to be very incompatible with Cancer.”  The sales rep said, “My husband’s a Pisces.  Is that compatible with Cancer?”  “Yes,” self asserted.  “Pisces and Cancer go together like white on rice.” (Lordy, just see how self rattles on!)

Anyhoo, The Man is very excited that we will be on Highway 5.  Because it passes Coalinga.  And in Coalinga there are humongous ranches, including Harris Ranch.  Which means steak restaurants.  And that’s all he’s been talking about for days.

Today, self was in the Chef Shop in San Carlos and she saw so many fancy kitchen implements.  Since son and his girlfriend are moving in together, self decided to give son a call and ask him if he already had a rice cooker.  He said he did.  So self was quite at a loss for what to get him.  She decided to control her impulse to shop, and walked out of the store with only a ceramic butter dish.  Pats on the back, self!

Stay tuned.

Good For You, Self!

You did not give in to temptation and slink off to see “Oblivion”!  No, you stayed home, and saved $7.  Not only that, you saved two hours of your life which were instead spent on:

  • Catching up with old friends.  You found an e-mail from Beth Alvarado.  Which was just so, so –  zen, because you had just been in the Stanford Creative Writing Program yesterday, attending a colloquium with T. C. Boyle (T.C., why are you so hip?  What gives you the right to be so hip?  How can you be a famous author and not be an ass?  How?  How?  How?  Is it your red converse sneakers and the black suit and the hair that probably at one time used to be a mullet?) and it would have been a terrible waste of the energy flow from that event to see a movie like “Oblivion.”
  • You got to try to get son off from jury duty.  That is, you called the San Mateo County Courthouse on his behalf and explained that on the date in question, son would be in Claremont, receiving his Masters diploma.  And the lady said, “Fine.  I’ll move his date to the following week.”  To which self really had no rejoinder.  Well, actually, she did attempt a rejoinder but the lady cut her off and said, “Ma’am, this is the second postponement.  By now he should know what his summer plans are!” Self meekly subsided.
  • You got to hear the mail landing in the mailbox.  And you were then able to see that you had a form rejection (from Colere) and an announcement of winners of the Sarabande Book Prize and were informed that IF you were a finalist, the entry fee for next year’s contest would be waived, so you thought that you were a finalist, until you read the names of the finalists.  What is the point of sending a letter saying IF you are this, then you won’t have to pay a fee to join the contest next year, when there are only three finalists and the letter was probably sent to EVERYBODY?
  • You got to do more web research on your favorite characters from “Game of Thrones” :  Jaime Lannister (You finally realized you’d been mis-spelling his name forever), and Brienne of Tarth.  And you found this fascinating interview between Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Self can’t believe she actually spelled that correctly), and Rolling Stone.  NC-W says quote unquote:  I’m sorry, I’m going in circles.  You were asking about Brienne and I’m talking about Jaime!  To which interviewer responds quote unquote:  It’s very Jaime of you.  To which NC-W responds quote unquote:  We should have Gwen on the phone.  It’d be more fun.

See, this is the reason why watching Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth on “Game of Thrones” is so much fun:  there’s this on-going banter between two people who respect each other, one of whom just happens to be a man.  And maybe Brienne, the woman, really wishes she were a man as well.  The man’s good looks are completely incidental to the relationship, and the woman’s plain-ness is incidental as well.  Holy Cow!  Did you catch that smokin’ hot tub scene in Episode 5?  When Brienne stood up from the water where she’d been just moments earlier simpering like a blushing bride and displayed herself to Jaime in all her earthly glory (from the back, but her curves were evident), and the guy was just — mesmerized?  As were we, the viewers?

Until the fight on the bridge episode (Episode 2?), which was the last one self saw before leaving for Venice, self’s favorite character on “Game of Thrones” was Daenerys.  But –  no more!  Give her Brienne’s awkward ungainliness any time!

So, given that self had skipped watching approximately three weeks’ worth of “Game of Thrones,” she could be forgiven for wondering why Jaime Lannister was wearing that hand on a rope around his neck.  She didn’t realize it was his own hand until some bandit began ridiculing him about it.  Then it was — GASP! –  Holy Major Plot Development!  As some other person on the web said (You see?  Self really HAS been all over the web this afternoon!):  Jaime.  Oh, Jaime.  I really hope you’re ambidexterous.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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