Words: Hurstwood

Sister Carrie, p. 111:

Hurstwood, to Carrie (Carrie’s been introduced to him by an acquaintance, Drouet.  Drouet introduced Carrie to Hurstwood as “Mrs. Drouet.”  Nevertheless, Hurstwood soon discerns that Mrs. Drouet spends much time alone.  And he has also seen Drouet in the company of other women.  When the opportunity arises, Hurstwood tells Carrie the following):  “I am practically alone.  There is nothing in my life that is pleasant or delightful.  It’s all work and worry with people who are nothing to me.”

As he said this, Hurstwood really imagined that his state was pitiful.  He had the ability to get off at a distance and view himself objectively –  of seeing what he wanted to see in the things which made up his existence.  Now, as he spoke, his voice trembled with that peculiar vibration which is the result of tensity . . .

How interesting, self thinks.  Hurstwood wants Carrie to love him.  At the same time, he’s telling himself the story of –  himself as an unloved man.  It’s self-pity, but he doesn’t know that.  In the meantime, Carrie, who is very young, just 18, is stunned but basks “in the warmth of his feeling.” What, she wonders are her own hesitations worth when measured against the needs of this man Hurstwood, who “glowed with his own intensity”?

Further:  “You think,” he said, “I am happy; that I ought not to complain?  If you were to meet all day with people who care absolutely nothing about you, if you went day after day to a place where there was nothing but show and indifference, if there was not one person in all those you knew to whom you could appeal for sympathy or talk to with pleasure, perhaps you would be unhappy too.”

Let’s skip the rest, as we already know where that is going.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

Currents: 3rd Monday of June (2013)

For the last month or so, self has been posting entries to the WordPress Weekly Photo Challenges.  It’s been a lot of fun.  She has a bona fide excuse to look through her photographic stash, and she can post random images that don’t seem to have anything to do with each other.

She’s been leaving links to the photo challenges on the WordPress Daily Post site, in the “Post a Comment” section.  Before, she’d see her comments, almost as soon as she posted.  But in the last week or so, she hasn’t seen any of her comments posted, at all.  So, last weekend, she finally put in a help request to WordPress, and the response came back today:  Stop numbering the posts that feature entries to the Weekly Photo Challenges.  In other words, she has to group all of the Photo Challenge entries, instead of posting one by one as she’s been doing.

Awww, what would be the fun in that?  Self likes looking at the photo prompt with fresh eyes, every day! She decides she’ll just stop posting her entries to The Daily Post website, but keep them going on her blog.

Anyhoo, self is still not even a quarter of the way through Sister Carrie, by Theodore Dreiser.  She started a week or so ago, after she decided to return Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, by Annie Dillard, without finishing.  Granted, Dillard is quite a fabulous writer.  But she goes into rhapsodies over praying mantises and frogs and self just isn’t in the right head space for such paeans, not at the moment.  She has to clean her entire house without the help of good Mauricio, she has spider bites on both arms (from pushing into the deepest, dankest corners of her garden), and Sole Fruit of Her Loins and Jennie are coming up in a few days.

To tell you the truth, self adores Sister Carrie.  It’s the first book she’s adored since Little Heathens:  Hard Times and High Spirits on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression, by Mildred Armstrong Kalish, the book she began reading in Trieste.  Before getting to Sister Carrie, before even she attempted Pilgrim at Tinker’s Creek, she put aside The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James.  That novel, she only got about 20 pages in.  If a character’s interior monologue does not strike her as helpful, self doesn’t see why she has to devote any more of her summer reading time to it.  After all, summer will be over in a couple of months, and then it will be fall.  The evenings will grow longer, the house will shut down and turn cold, and before you know it, there will be nothing to call her outside except for the bare branches of the apple and cherry trees.  Sand will run out of the hourglass soon enough:  Who can afford to spend weeks reading Henry James?

And, Lord, the movies this summer are pretty insipid.  She saw “Man of Steel” with The Man yesterday, and all she can definitively say is that Henry Caville has a very nice cleft chin and gorgeous eyes, and that Amy Adams ups the entertainment quotient of any picture she is in by about 900 %.  Self almost fell asleep during the apocalyptic confrontation (Everything’s apocalyptic in summer movies, ever since Michael Bay).  What. A. Waste. Of. Michael. Shannon.

The previews of the coming attractions did not exactly fill her with joy, as the movie that stars Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx is something she’d already seen, just a few months ago, with Gerard Butler performing the Channing Tatum character.  And she hates seeing all those masses of bodies streaming down a wall in the scenes they keep showing over and over, from “World War Z”.  The only upcoming big-budget movie she is interested in seeing, to tell the truth, is the one with Armie Hammer as The Lone Ranger.  Because Armie Hammer knows how to play against type.  She thought he was hilarious in “Mirror, Mirror.”

Ah, where were we?  Poor Nigella Lawson was choked in public by her husband, and afterwards had to kiss him (which convinced no one that the aforementioned choking was simply a joke).  And self read in Vanity Fair how the model who was killed by Oscar Pistorius ended her life in a teensy toilet, huddling with hands crossed over her chest (even though this was not the way she was found; Pistorius carried her to the foot of the stairs of his house and that was how the police found her.  Afterwards, and before the police came, he washed his hands because they got all bloody while carrying her).  The policeman who was in charge of the initial investigation, who later resigned, told Vanity Fair that all the injuries suffered by the woman were on her right side, and one went through her shorts.  So she was pressed against the door, unusual for someone who was presumably using the toilet.  In addition, the door to the toilet had been bashed in by Pistorius; he used a cricket bat.  Self thinks we can all agree that is a pretty terrible way to go.

Finally, here is a passage from Sister Carrie, which reads as though it could have been written for Vanity Fair:

When some one of the many middle-class individuals whom he knew, who had money, would get into trouble, he would shake his head.  It didn’t do to talk about those things.  If it came up for discussion among such friends as with him passed for close, he would deprecate the folly of the thing.  “It was all right to do it –  all men do those things –  but why wasn’t he careful?  A man can’t be too careful.”  He lost sympathy for the man that made a mistake and was found out.

Further down, on the same page, Hurstwood muses about his wife:

Owing to his order of mind, his confidence in the sex was not great.  His wife never possessed the virtues which would win the confidence and admiration of a man of his nature.

Self doesn’t know why she finds the Hurstwood point of view fascinating, but she does.  Also fascinating are Dreiser’s descriptions of the burly city of Chicago as it was in the late 19th century, at the cusp of the American century.

She thinks she read in the Introduction (by Claude Simpson of Ohio State University) that Dreiser wrote the novel in something like three months.  It met with several rejections, but was finally published in 1900.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

A Review of Books About Insomnia (The New Yorker, 11 March 2013)

Since it is a very long time until the next season of Game of Thrones, self has been watching Season 2.  Believe it or not, she has gotten into such a rhythm with watching this show (The Man wants to know why self is so obssessed.  Channeling Ygritte, self tells him:  “You know nuthin’, The Man!” In other words, he better keep his trap shut if he doesn’t want to get plugged with so many arrows he ends up looking like a hedgehog, which was the sight presented by Jon Snow when he dazedly arrived at Castle Black in the final episode of Season 3!)

Anyhoo, it seems she can’t get to sleep at night unless she watches one episode, just before bedtime.  Last night, The Man (who is a Great Tease), played two back-to-back episodes for self, and this was a little bit too much, as then self found that instead of falling asleep at midnight, she was very jacked up.

But, enough with the digressions!  While plowing through her once-again-humongous Pile of Stuff today, Friday, self happened to come across an essay called “Up All Night:  The Science of Sleeplessness,” in The New Yorker of 11 March 2013.  She read the article straight through, from beginning to end, with only one break:  to go to the Redwood City Library and pick up a copy of Hilary Mantel’s Wolf Hall (It’s self’s first Hilary Mantel.  Isn’t that crrrrazy???)

One of the books reviewed, The Slumbering Masses, written by a UC Santa Cruz anthropology professor named Matthew J. Wolf-Meyer (What a fabulous name for a professor!), has this to say about our modern pattern of sleep:

Until a century and a half or so ago, Wolf-Meyer observes, “Americans, like other people around the world, used to sleep in an unconsolidated fashion, that is, in two or more periods throughout the day.”  They went to bed not long after the sun went down.  Four or five hours later, they woke from their “first sleep” and rattled around –  praying, chatting, smoking, or making love.  (Benjamin Franklin reportedly liked to spend this time reading naked in a chair).  Eventually, they went back to their “second sleep.”

As for self, she fell into the habit of wakefulness when she became a mother.  So that she would not waste a single minute of the nocturnal hours, she would read next to son’s crib.  When he woke, she would wake, and then read some more.  In this way, self managed to read many, many, many books, all the while son was an infant, and years and years beyond, up to today.

The Man is exactly the opposite:  he falls asleep instantaneously, and sleeps 10 hours at a stretch.  One minute he’s awake, the next –  Bang! –  he’s asleep.  Then he starts to snore.  Loud.  And this makes self so frustratingly envious that she is tempted to pinch The Man’s nose.  But she restrains herself.  She is not the type of person who pinches sleeping people’s noses.  Of course not!

She read somewhere that people who have insomnia live much shorter lifespans than other people.  Which means –  hello!  There is absolutely no time to waste, self!  Get cracking and finish your book!

Another book mentioned in the essay is Internal Time:  Chronotypes, Social Jet Lag, and Why You’re So Tired, by Till Roenneberg, of the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich (Again, what a name.  Self can go years at a stretch without encountering one single outstandingly fabulous name, and suddenly, in one essay, she encounters two).  Here the professor categorizes people according to sleep habits.  Some people are larks, which means they are indefatigable early risers.  And other people are owls, which means they stay up all night.  According to the author of the essay, Elizabeth Kolbert (which has self wondering if it’s pronounced like Stephen Colbert’s name, but once again she digresses), “Teen-agers are owls, which is why high schools are filled with students who look (and act) like zombies.”  Self wonders how teen-agers graduate from being owls to being normal?  Or do some people stay owls for the rest of their lives?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

MANILA NOIR: “Satan Has Already Bought U” by Lourd De Veyra

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“Do you know what shabu means?  Did you know that each letter means something?” Cesar asked, pressing a clean sheet of aluminum foil between two one-peso coins.

“You mean an acronym,” Franco replied, a dull glint of the strip cruising his vision.

“A what?”

“An acronym.  That’s what you’re trying to say.  Each letter stands for a word.  Like PBA.  Philippine Basketball Association.  Or NBA . . . “

“I get it.  Exactly.  An acronym.  So . . . you know what shabu means?”

“I didn’t know it meant anything.”

“Satan Has Already Bought You.”

*    *     *     *

The gossip in Bacolod.  So-and-so had a shabu addiction.

Self:  “How can he be hooked on shabu, he doesn’t make any money.  Don’t you need a lot of money to get shabu?”

Self remembers how her cousin Manong Genray scoffed:  “Even ‘sikab‘ drivers get hooked on shabu.”

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Sikab is a bastardization of the words “Tricycle” and “Cab.”  You can take one of these, 5 pesos (11 US cents) a ride.  Cheaper even than riding a jeepney, which is 8 pesos (19 US cents).

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

MANILA NOIR, Edited by Jessica Hagedorn: Opening Sentences

Introducing, in the order in which the stories appear in the anthology:

  • “When we learn about the sign, we must see it for ourselves.”  –  Aviary, by Lysley Tenorio
  • “Casa Manila,” the docent announces, pushing the massive double doors twice before they give way.” –  A Human Right, by Rosario Cruz-Lucero
  • “Do you know what shabu means?” –  Satan Has Already Bought U, by Lourd De Veyra
  • “Sunday talk and it was all gossip.” –  Broken Glass, by Sabina Murray
  • “When we finally roll out, our seats are pitched up like we’re on a plane lifting from the tarmac.” –  After Midnight, by Angelo R. Lacuesta
  • “Nearly 13 million Filipinos ride the Metrostar Express every day.” –  Trese:  Thirteen Stations, a graphic short story, by Budjette Tan & Kajo Baldisimo
  • “The neck is broken.” –  Comforter of the Afflicted, by F. H. Batacan
  • “Somebody died in this car I’m driving.” –  The Professor’s Wife, by Jose Dalisay
  • “Lala makes the sign of the cross when she comes upon the naked, mutilated body of Vanessa Blanca hanging from the ancient balete tree on Moriones Street, a block away from the Tutuban train station.” — Cariño Brutal, by R. Zamora Linmark
  • “The story Magsalin wishes to tell is about disappearance.” –  The Unintended, by Gina Apostol
  • “Paco texted me, asking for a ride.” — Old Money, by Jessica Hagedorn
  • “Which parts of a bird are edible?” –  Desire, by Marianne Villanueva
  • “First of all, she wouldn’t change the locks on him.” –  Darling, You Can Count on Me, by Eric Gamalinda
  • “She doesn’t have to travel very far to see her fortune-teller.” –  Norma From Norman, by Jonas Vitman

BLACK RICE, a novella by K. M. Kaung

It is soooo hawtt!

Self, remember what you were moaning about only yesterday?  About how chilly it was inside the house?

Must you always need reminding:  BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR ???

Kyi’s novella, Black Rice, arrived in the mail today.  That was quick!  Self only ordered it on Tuesday!

The voice packs a punch.  The reader is immediately immersed in the narrator’s world, Burma during World War II:

. . .  The bricks in the old temples are held together by stucco cement mixed from nothing but lime, sand and boiled sticky rice.

Yet this rice-based cement has held the temples together for hundreds of years.  The monk and the nun fortune-tellers always say:  My name fits my skin color.  My skin color matches my name.  That is necessary for good luck and survival.  In our country these are necessities, like food and drink, like good health.  No one proves that better than the Old Man, Bright Sun himself.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

 

News of the Day (3rd Thursday of May 2013)

Self got another rejection, this from The Collagist.

Did she ever share with dear blog readers that Manila Noir got a REALLY good review from Publishers Weekly?  Yay!  Big, big shout-out to Jessica Hagedorn, for doing such a smart job with the anthology (and La Hagedorn has a new story in it, too)

She bought a greeting card (with dolphins on the front) to give to son on Saturday, after his graduation ceremony at Claremont.

In honor of the occasion, today self delivered The Ancient One to the pet hospital, where she will board for the weekend.  Self drove so slowly that at least two SUVs honked her.  But never mind!  The Ancient One has a tendency to car-sickness.  She kinda let her bladder go all over self’s jeans (the only pair of jeans self has left, because four were in the suitcase that got stolen in Venice) when self was carrying her down.  Despite smelling like pee, self made herself wander the San Carlos Farmers Market.  This you can do in America:  she’d never dare wander Bacolod smelling like pee, but here no one gives a hoot.  It’s so much less stressful.

Because self and The Man have junkers for cars, every time we go south, we must rent.  And this time, self decided to splurge a little, because she rented a Prius.  And Holy Cow!  She’s never driven a car that didn’t have an ignition.  Only a wee button to press.  Plus, there was so much unfamiliar electrical whirring going on, every time she did something (like switch from “Park” to “Reverse” mode) that self felt like she was operating from inside a battery.  It was so much fun renting this car, because self was in the wrong line.  She picked the shortest line, and only after she got to the front did she learn that she had been in the line reserved for “Executive Members of the Fastbreak Club,” whatever that means.  But never mind.  Rather than send her to the back of another line, the busy rep actually made the time to get self a nice car, and she even confided to self that she, too, had a birthday in July.  “Which makes you a Cancer,” self said.  “My husband’s an Aquarius.  They’re supposed to be very incompatible with Cancer.”  The sales rep said, “My husband’s a Pisces.  Is that compatible with Cancer?”  “Yes,” self asserted.  “Pisces and Cancer go together like white on rice.” (Lordy, just see how self rattles on!)

Anyhoo, The Man is very excited that we will be on Highway 5.  Because it passes Coalinga.  And in Coalinga there are humongous ranches, including Harris Ranch.  Which means steak restaurants.  And that’s all he’s been talking about for days.

Today, self was in the Chef Shop in San Carlos and she saw so many fancy kitchen implements.  Since son and his girlfriend are moving in together, self decided to give son a call and ask him if he already had a rice cooker.  He said he did.  So self was quite at a loss for what to get him.  She decided to control her impulse to shop, and walked out of the store with only a ceramic butter dish.  Pats on the back, self!

Stay tuned.

Books Mentioned in The New York Times Book Review, 30 September 2012

Isn’t it wonderful how self keeps finding NYTBR issues from last year?

Here’s one that isn’t too long ago:  it’s from September 2012.

In this issue, the “By the Book” interview is With Michael Chabon, who just happens to be reading Moonraker, by Ian Fleming (written 1955).  He also mentions Cloud Atlas, and Ben Marcus (author of The Flame Alphabet) and three of what he thinks are classics of “genre fiction”:  The Turn of the Screw, Heart of Darkness, and Blood Meridian.  Next on his reading list:  Beyond Black, by Hilary Mantel, and Diamonds are Forever.

There is a review of Love Bomb, a novel by Lisa Zeidner, that refers to a previous novel by Ayelet Waldman, Red Hook Road (which self will try and read).

Finally, there is a review by Christian Bauman (who served with the United States Army in Somalia and Haiti) of Fobbit, by David Abrams, a novel whose hero is assigned to a public affairs team in a “Forward Operating Base,” or FOB, in Iraq. (“Dead soldiers,” according to Abrams’ hero, “were now little more than objects to be loaded onto the back of C-130s somewhere and delivered like pizzas to the United States.”)

Interesting.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

This Is What Happens

Umm, self simply cannot let go of this “Game of Thrones” Jamie Lannister/ Brienne of Tarth thing!  So, until self gets to a really interesting, quotable part of The Portrait of a Lady, by Henry James (she managed to breeze through Little Heathens, the remaining 150 pages, which were all about milking, walking to school in deep snow, etc)  –  which might, actually, already have happened, because in the very first paragraph of the Preface, James reveals that he wrote this novel over three months in Florence and several weeks in Venice!  And what self wants to know is:  How can anyone get any writing done in Italy?  That country is the buzz-kill of all buzz-kills!  In the future, she will only go if she wants to eat.  And eat.  And eat –

Back to “Game of Thrones” things.  And all the wee digressions leading there-to.

Self fell asleep right after The Man got home.  It’s like, everything inside her builds and builds, and then The Man gets home, and she is all normal again.

So, she was all normal ten minutes after The Man got home.  He decided to walk The Ancient One, because it was hot enough.  Seriously, what’s with this weather?  It was cold all the way until 3 p.m., and then it became scorching hot.  This is definitely not the kind of weather pattern self enjoys.

In fact, self was so normal, she fell asleep.  For six straight hours.  She vaguely remembers The Man asking her where the trash can in the bathroom was.  She vaguely remembers telling The Man that she made his dinner:  ravioli with every left-over in the fridge chopped up and sprinkled on top.  With minced oregano from the garden.

Then, self woke at midnight, feeling completely energized and ready to get started with her day.  So she naturally continued her internet explorations of Jamie Lannister and Brienne of Tarth (She has no intention of reading the books, mind you.  Which makes her a total Philistine.  Stop reading right now!)  And now she has stumbled on a site called winteriscoming.net.  And here is an excerpt from an interview that FaB and three other journalists conducted with the intrepid pair, March 21 of this year.  It’s very, very entertaining:

FaB:   You were very muddy through all of last season.

Nikolaj:   That doesn’t change though.

FaB:   Nothing?  No bathing?   No one’s thought to wash you down . . .  ?  Give you a bath . . .  ?

FEEL FREE TO MENTALLY INSERT THE SLY MICHAEL MYERS DR. EVIL RAISED PINKIE LOOK I WAS GIVING BOTH OF THEM.

Nikolaj (after a casual shrug):   Maybe we . . .  might have a bath.  At some time.

Terri catches on quickly, leaning forward, and asks, “May we say there could be bathing in season three?  Or . . .  is that in future seasons . . .  ?  This . . . POTENTIAL bath . . . ?”

Some polite coughing ensues.  But I cannot stress enough how each reporter is now . . .  slowly . . .  beginning . . .  to lean forward.  We’re so eager!

Gwendoline (casually):  I think everyone washes.  Don’t they?

Terri has the tail of a fish and refuses to let go, saying, “In the woods?  Do they?  I guess there are streams (innocently).  Maybe . . . “

Nikolaj (smiling casually):  I think Jaime would love a bath.

Everyone in the room pretty much agrees that yes, yes he would.  And yes, a bath would be a good thing.

And there’s more!  But for the rest of the interview, you will just have to go here.

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

First Post-Venice Costco Run

Ah, Costco.  It is such a crucial part of self’s life.  Even though she has a wee family, which at the moment consists only of The Man and self, she insists on her right to make Coscto runs and purchase those huge packages of paper towels and bath tissue.  Today, she ended up buying a lot of foodstuff, in addition, of course, to her trusty Benadryl (Incidentally, why did Costco stop carrying the 148-pill bottles of Benadryl?  It is so inconvenient for self to have to cut up all those pills from the foil backing.  It takes her so much time, time which would have been better spent reading her book!).  She bought chicken thighs and a 25-lb. bag of Blue Ribbon long grain rice, and headless Tiger Prawns.

Speaking of Costco chicken, the chicken tenderloins she cooked today had absolutely no taste, and self had to drench in Ponzu sauce.  What kind of chicken has NO TASTE?  Even after being marinated?

Self is still reading Little Heathens:  High Spirits and Hard Times on an Iowa Farm During the Great Depression.  Even though this is a very short book (just under 300 pages), and self began reading it almost a week ago, she is still only a third of the way through.

Self is on a chapter called “Medicine.”  In this chapter, we learn that living on an Iowa farm exposes one to injuries of all types, injuries such as:

cuts from axes and knives

stone bruises caused by bare feet on rocks

oozing scrapes

splinters

blood poisoning

pinkeye/ chicken pox/ measles/ mumps

warts

And, here, the author, Mildred Armstrong Kalish, describes a remedy for cuts:

We just went to the barn or the corncrib, found a spiderweb, and wrapped the stretchy filament around the wound.  It stopped the bleeding and the pain, and was thought to have antiseptic qualities.  Generally, healing occurred without further attention.

The only thing that self doesn’t like about this book is that she has no idea how much time is passing –  how old is the narrator when she applies her first spiderweb remedy?  How often did she or her family have to resort to the Vaseline, lard, baking soda, boric acid, salt, camphor, and other homespun remedies for mishaps such as stepping on a nail or on some broken glass?

Stay tuned, dear blog readers.  Stay tuned.

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