Kanlaon

Yes, the movie “10,000 B.C.” did best its competition, and was declared winner (by Box Office Mojo) of the weekend box office.

And self is so fortunate that a review of this (self thinks cheesy) movie appeared in the same issue of The New York Times as the one with Manola Dargis’ review of “The Bank Job” (in which Ms. Dargis committed horrible mea culpa of referring to Jason Stathan as a “B-movie” action star). And so, now, comparing both reviews, self thinks the one by Ms. Dargis was oh-so-much-more fun. As it’s no use displaying your erudite vocabulary when you’re reviewing a Roland Emmerich movie. What would be the point?

Here is A.O. Scott’s helpful summary:

. . . as the story begins . . . the Yagahl, a tribe of snuffleupagus hunters who favor extensions in their hair and eschew contractions in their speech, prepare for their last hunt. In fulfillment of an old prophecy, raiders on horseback . . . arrive to sack the Yagahl encampment and take a bunch of the tribespeople as slaves.

Okey dokey, now that dear blog readers have the back story, we can now move on to Scott’s comments on the actors. This movie features blue-eyed beauty Camilla Belle as the damsel in distress, and Steven Strait as her Shining Knight in Armor (but with loincloth, not armor, self speaks metaphorically). Mr. Scott continues with his helpful summarizing, describing how the two lovers

have many adventures, involving bizarrely costumed humans and computer-generated creatures, among them a scary race of flesh-eating swamp ostriches.

Self thinks Mr. Scott is much, much funnier in person, as she always enjoys his guest appearances on “Ebert & Roeper” (which has now remained without Ebert for many, many aeons).

And, he does finish on a high note, making this half-funny observation:

. . . it is a mercy that the tigers and the other creatures don’t talk. It would be more of a mercy if the human characters, especially that narrator, observed similar discretion.

Self now recalls that, last weekend, hubby did want to see this movie, but self pleaded to see “The Bank Job” instead, and won out. Well, there’s still this coming weekend . . .